The Freddy “O” Show Episode #7: Ryan Stanley wants to help you set the stage for the PERFORMANCE of your life!
About Ryan Stanley
Ryan Stanley is Co-Founder and Headmaster of Mindset at Teach Me to Sell. He also is a Life & Self Leadership Coach who has helped transform the lives of 100's of individuals. Ryan is also a public speaker, author and a loyal Phish Fan.
‘Living on Purpose Doesn’t Happen by Accident’Ryan Stanley
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Signed Copy of Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful: A First-Aid Kit for the Emotional Bumps, Scrapes, and Bruises of Life and a complimentary 30 minute coaching session with Ryan!
Learn how to sell like a boss! Teachmetosell.com
Physical copy of Ryans book ‘Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful: A First Aid Kit for the Emotional Bumps, Scrapes, and Bruises of Life‘. If you order your book from this page your copy will come signed by the author and include a complimentary 30 minute coaching session with Ryan!
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Episode #7 Podcast Transcript
Freddy Owen: Today on the show, we have Ryan Stanley. He wants to help you set the stage for the performance of your life. We got sales secrets, mindset hacks, emphasis on this episode. Let's go.
My Beautiful Wife: Thank you for listening to the Freddie iOS show, a podcast devoted to you, the listener, your purpose, your mindset and your marketing efforts designed to help you go to that next level. Now, here's your host,
Freddy Owen: Welcome to episode number seven of the radio show. lucky number seven. Yes, that's my favorite number. But before we get the train rolling, I wanted to thank you so much for tuning in today. It's always a pleasure to have you aboard and I mean that from the bottom of my heart sincerely, a friendly reminder, you can access all podcast show notes from today's episode at win with Fred calm. Also, the radio shows Available on these other fine apps, that is Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts Stitcher, I Heart Radio, podcast, attic pod chaser, Deezer, overcast pipe cast Castro and cast box. I truly appreciate your support. It means the world to me. Now, as we enter into today's episode, get ready to hang on tight because it's going to be a fun ride. We have Ryan Stanley in the house and he is ready to drop some knowledge today. He is a lifelong entrepreneur with a strong background in professional life, business and internal coaching. He's also a husband and a father of two boys, screenwriter, author and a Phish fan. I told you, we were going to be talking about Phish. I'm excited to have Ryan Stanley on today. Ryan, welcome to the radio show.
Ryan Stanley: So happy to be here. Thank you so much, man. Good to be here.
Freddy Owen: Awesome. So let's get started. Who is Ryan Stanley?
Ryan Stanley: Ryan Stanley is a guy who grew up in northwestern New Jersey. is currently a father, an entrepreneur, an author, a speaker, a coach, a thought leader, and entrepreneur. I might care more twice, but I'm pretty passionate about it. You throw Phish fan there. And that pretty much gives you a quick quick glance of who I am.
Freddy Owen: So real quick, you have kids, how many kids do you have?
Ryan Stanley: Two boys? Nine and six.
Freddy Owen: Okay, okay. Being a parent is pretty tough. Sometimes.
Ryan Stanley: You know, it's got its days, but I would say really my two favorite things in life are definitely Parenthood. Actually, being a parent is my favorite thing. And life coaching is a close second. I think while it is tough, they're definitely the two places where I find I'm constantly teaching and learning at the same time. So always lots of opportunities for growth and being a parent.
Freddy Owen: Wait, wait till they hit in the teenage years and it's still i'd love my son. He's actually home now. He was in New York City. He was sent home right before they did the lockdown. Yeah. And he was going to school amda which is an art school. And so it is. It's very, very, I love it because I'm very protective. You know, so when this was happening, and sometimes he's like dad, you know, you gotta let it go. Come on, you know, if I'm a grown up now I'm almost 20 years old. I know, I know everything. So. So you've been doing this since how long when you started?
Ryan Stanley: Well, I've been a parent for about nine years, and I'm just getting
Ryan Stanley: in regards to coaching. I've been coaching for about just over a decade, so 2009 I was certified.
Freddy Owen: Okay. What was the biggest struggle you had when you started? You started doing coaching and actually venturing into the online world?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, you know, so I attended my training in 2009. Before I was a coach actually came from A, I've always been a bit of an entrepreneur or worked for startups. So right before I started coaching, I was working as an artist manager working in band and artist management working with bands and there's aspects But I love those aspects of it that I didn't love. What I loved was really just connecting with and empowering people, especially working with creative people working with artists, working with musicians, being able to be in a live music space. There's a number of things I didn't like. But knowing that my passion was around connectivity, a lot of people don't really realize or think about the fact that musicians are entrepreneurs. And they are creating a product that they want to sell to the masses. And so I loved showing them that they were there, you know, their large goals were possibilities and more options. And I loved setting up specific plans and stepping into their greatness and being there to celebrate it. So that to me, ended up being coaching, really, I mean, I in October of 2008, I had like three conversations that on both coaching out of nowhere, and I was like, well, that that sounds like what I'm I want to be doing and it doesn't involve all the things that I don't want to be doing. So this is a long way for me to answer. But so I enrolled in a program called AIPAC, the Institute for professional excellence and coaching in 2009. They actually asked me to start working for them before I even graduated, I met a lot of leadership in the organization. We had some synergies, and so I didn't have to jump Write in full time. So I was able to, you know, work with AIPAC. I was their internal coach, I coached their staff. I worked as an admissions coach where I coached a lot of their people who are interested in their program. I coached them around whether it was a good path for them or not, all while also starting my own online practice. So it wasn't too much struggle as much as it was more of a creative endeavor. And that I was, you know, able to step in on a regular basis.
Freddy Owen: So let's go back to the artists and the musicians. Yeah. Okay. Let's say you've probably dealt with a lot of them and a lot of musicians. A lot of them prima donnas.
Ryan Stanley: I wouldn't say so. You know, musicians are definitely creative people. Right? So you know that coming in. So, pre Madonna, I just met a lot of prima donnas. A lot of the people who I worked with weren't necessarily but sometimes you know, a lot of musicians hang out with other musicians or your gig sharing or these different things. So I've certainly come across many, but in a coach's standpoint, you know, really typically, somebody who goes to a coach is somebody who wants to be better, wants to be more The best versions of themselves. And so that's one of things I like about it. You're working with people who are willing to invest themselves financially, but also timewise and energy wise. And so most of the people I've worked with, I would say are not prima donnas. But I'd say you certainly, of course come across people whose behaviors are unique.
Freddy Owen: So as far as musicians, you have dealt with any musicians that you would think that the 40 Oh, show fan would know.
Ryan Stanley: You know what I saw? I mean, I worked with a bunch of different people. So you know, I mentioned earlier that I'm a fan of the band Phish, but their lyricist is a guy named Tom Marshall. And he has a band called amphibian that I managed for a while. And karst is a guy named Anthony tries and who played in the Spin Doctors and played with John Waite. And you know, it's a pretty extravagant career played with no reading the bass player for Jimi Hendrix and so I you know, those people that that might come across, there's a band that people in New Jersey will know called karmic juggernaut. They're kind of a progressive, aggressive rock band from the Jersey Shore and I work with them for a while. And that was fun. Because another woman named cck coletti, who was a backup singer for meatloaf. So people know meatloaf, but maybe not necessarily CC. So spit bits and pieces here and there.
Freddy Owen: Well, not that it is a thing. It's not about how big they are. It's as far as the pre Madonna question. Yeah. It's, it's more so they're an artist. And they are there and it's hard to stray them away from their art, obviously, how they want it. And have you ever had where you had a musician that you were like, oh, gosh, just this is terrible music.
Ryan Stanley: I can see that I worked with bands that I didn't love. It just or just wasn't my style or my taste. I couldn't say that I would ever work with anyone that was terrible. Just I don't think I could. At some point, you're just like being authentic every day because then you have to sit there and tell them that they're good. But when you really don't believe there are
Freddy Owen: Why does Ryan have earplugs right now and his ears.
Ryan Stanley: So I'm gonna sneak out for this one. Why don't you guys go about it and we'll catch up afterwards. It sounds
Freddy Owen: like A lot of fun though.
Ryan Stanley: It is. I mean, it was great. There's aspects of it. There's a reason that I got into it from a management standpoint. I mean, I do love it, you know, I was younger at the time, and I wasn't really starting a family. So it was cool to go out to New York City and get some hang time and just be part of the growth and part of the scene and meet other bands and just kind of hang out be the side side of a rock star life so that there's aspects of their awesome, that's so
Freddy Owen: what did you do, actually, as far as you just coach them on? What do you coach them on?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, so my coaching clients, I mean, now I spent the majority of my career working musicians that now I've, since over the last couple of years really focused on a broader audience. I also now work with CEOs that work with doctors that work with authors that work with anybody who's interested in really being the best version of themselves and getting their ego out of the way and choosing to live on purpose. But musicians it's funny, typically when they come to me, it would be more about like, Hey Ryan, I want to get an album made I want to get more gigs. I want to build up my social media following like very left brain stuff, which of course is what people want to do. But really typically, even by the end of the first conversation that we had, it turned into more about like, what is your mindset? What is your thought process? What are the types of what's your internal dialogue? Like, you know, how are you waking up each day? What are your What are your core beliefs? What are your values? How is all that coming into play with who you want to be? Because once you can get all that clear, then you can the other stuff will fall into place for my experience.
Freddy Owen: Okay, so now you just brought up a question. left brain right brain? Yeah. And I don't explain that to me, if you could.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, and that's layman's terms, like a zone but the left brain really is the analytical. It's very technical. It's very, you know, it's like math or writing or, you know, it's very like number driven like very specifics right of like, making just this decision making decision. I didn't say I'd probably just say Chism, but decision making
Freddy Owen: marbling my words right now.
Ryan Stanley: It must be the passion. It's the passion. It's all good. No so decision making sure so the right brain is really creative. So the right brain comes with a creative process. So the art a lot of people who are artistic in some capacity utilize more of the right side of the brain, and people who are more analytical use the left side of the brain.
Freddy Owen: So his impulse right or left,
Ryan Stanley: obviously, right. Yeah, impulse, I believe is right.
Freddy Owen: Okay. Okay. Cool. So you talked about
Ryan Stanley: not to be confused with correct.
Freddy Owen: So you talked about daily rituals and things to make themselves better to be the best they can be. Okay. What type of daily rituals do you actually do on a daily basis that you think that that, you know, if you don't do them, you're going to be out of sorts? At what kind of daily rituals do you have?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, and I don't think it's so much about out of sorts, as much as it's just about living on purpose, right. So that for me anyway, that's my experience. So really You don't I mean, so it's not looking at what's the worst case scenario as much as Hey, I'm not living on the best case scenario. So for me having the routines are I wake up every morning between 530 and six, I get up, I come down and I meditate for anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour hour plus, to kind of get my brain straight to be present to understand the value of being president, let my body and my mind feel that way to start every day. After that, I exercise for about 25 to 30 minutes. Then I come into my office where I do what I call my Im statements and kind of now I'm all amped up, right? energetically, I've got all the adrenaline flow for my body from exercise, and I spent time doing some daily affirmations, just thinking about who I want to be in my life saying it out loud, being grateful for the outcome, imagining it and enjoying that that time is being who I want to be. After that, I sit down and journal a little bit like what's my plan for the day? What does my calendar look like? I kind of get some plans. I set up some things also I write down some things that I'm grateful for. I set up some goals for the day. And goals aren't necessarily specific tasks, because there's a separate area for that, but the goals are like hey, I want to be present with whomever I'm with. I want to be joyfully productive. I want to, you know, give love to my family, whatever it is like how I want to be. And then I write down tasks. Okay, I want to be sure I email this guy, I want to be sure that I have a great coaching session, I want to be sure that all the different specific tasks are.
Ryan Stanley: after that I go out every day. Yeah, exactly. So I prepare for the day and not that I get everything done every day. But at least I'm starting my day off with intention, purpose, and follow through, right. I do a little bit of stretching, and then by the time that's all done, it's like, 830 I go up, I take a shower and kick things into gear.
Freddy Owen: Right when you said that I started stretching my arms. So yeah, that's fantastic. So what with life coaching? What do you feel is your biggest strength when it comes to helping people realize that they're not put on this earth by accident?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, and thank you for putting it that way. That's an amazing way to say it. I would say my biggest strength is empathy and understanding and truly I'm a great coach, to be honest with you. There's a reason why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm a good listener, I'm able to really meet people where they're at. And a lot of the time hear what they're not saying, and hear what they don't even know that they're not saying, but they are saying, and then ask them questions around that to help them look at it from a detached perspective, and then help them take action on that. And you know, my name is you got to be around, hopefully, I'm proud to say that that's my intention every day is to be somebody that people want to spend time with and want to learn from and want to. My intention is to be the light that I want to see in the world so that others can see it and want to be around it and magnify their own.
Freddy Owen: That's awesome. And that's that's, that's fantastic. I'm, so I'm going to go to you on your website. You have that you close $22 million in sales, I believe in eight years, which is not a chump change by any means. When it comes to sales, that's one of your strengths, obviously.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, and a lot of the time that's just about understanding people. So I have a separate company which is called Teach Me to Sell calm. And it is a sales training. It's an eight week sales sales training course for people who are coaches who are solopreneurs of some sort, people who are Fitness Trainers, people who are maybe in direct sales like that, but who want to serve the world in some capacity. So we're calling them SOS or service oriented solopreneurs. And so I partnered with a guy named Kurt van Linden Kirk is a sought after sales trainer. He's also a coach, but his superpower is sales training in particular. And he's done hundreds of millions of dollars in sales for Fortune 500 companies and been sought after to train their staff to do the same. And so my superpower is the mindset I've had a strong background in sales as well. So the combination really he focused more on the details of the training and I focus more on the details of the mindset and so it's a perfect combination to help our students really not only gain specific skills insight, so that to go back to our earlier conversation, it's the left brain and the right brain right so the left brain of like very specific skills, coaching questions, know how to use a specific sales process, and then the right brain of the creativity of the curiosity of being president of deciding who you want to be in empowering yourself to be the best.
Freddy Owen: So what do you see? Most solopreneurs entrepreneurs doing wrong when it comes to sales? Why are they not making sales?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, I think the biggest challenge is fear, right? That actually has to do with just about everything in life in some capacity, they're afraid of offending somebody, they're afraid of asking for too much money, they're afraid that they're not good enough. They're afraid you know, all these different fears that naturally come up for us as human beings that don't serve a purpose. And a big philosophy that we really stand behind him and used to guide us is to do the right thing, right thing for every person every time from a sales capacity, and be recognized that you're serving and you're not selling. Like if, you know, I'm to come to someone and say like, Hey, I have coaching. I'm not trying to sell them my coaching and I recognize that they have a need to be a better version of themselves, whatever that means to them. And I happen to have a great product that does it. So instead of getting caught up in what they fear, I don't know, she likes being charged or whatever. Should I ask him, it's like, Hey, this is what I do. This is how much it costs, what it looks like and what I've heard from our conversation, this is what you need as well, what questions do you have? Like, how do we make it happen? And it's generally an authentic thing as I would do to a friend. It's really more about making friends and making a sale, right? You're not looking at people with $1 signs in their head. You're looking at people, it's like, hey, how can I make a friend today? How can I create an opportunity for relationships to help people move forward in the best versions of themselves?
Freddy Owen: I love this. I love this. So you have four simple words on your What's the name of the site again? And this will all be in the show notes, everybody. So yeah, of course. What's the sale site?
Ryan Stanley: It's called teaching me to sell calm.
Freddy Owen: Yeah, you have stopped selling and started serving? Yep. Have you always had the attitude when it comes to sales? Or did you do that come into fruition in your journey to where you realized that maybe we're doing it wrong at first?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, you know, I think maybe when I first started years ago, as an entrepreneur, there are certainly aspects of that, that that came into play, selling my own stuff, but really, as I really Especially once they kind of shifted into coaching about, you know, 10 plus years ago, I recognized that what I was doing was serving, and I really was just excited to meet people who just wanted to to improve their life. And so I knew that I was serving them. And I knew that I had something that could make their life better. And to be honest with it, what I love most about coaching is a lot what I can't say most, but one things I really love about coaching is that when I'm working with people, and I'm coaching them around certain truths in life, and helping them get clear on certain aspects of what it means to be a human, from my perspective, I'm reminding my subconscious of the same things. So to kind of answer your question, I know even when I'm setting up a conversation to see if we are working together, I know just by doing that I'm serving them. I also stepped, you know, into my greatness a little bit more. So it is a constant Win Win scenario.
Freddy Owen: You're very upbeat, I love this.
Ryan Stanley: That's my intention. So thank you for reflecting on it.
Freddy Owen: Well, you got me, you got me there. So when it comes to, like, the secret sauce, if you were to , I guess there's the sound. Like authenticity is one of the biggest things in building relationships as far as selling. Yeah, people have a lot of different things I've had people try to say, you know, this is how you're supposed to sell this is how you're supposed to sell. And back in the day when I was in the car industry and I was a service advisor, service advisor basically selling was me just showing them what they needed. And like you just said, and putting myself in their shoes. Yeah, in a way what other things like secret sauce Could you give the radio show fame that could give them a significant edge? Or is it just that
Ryan Stanley: woman there is this little son that that there's asking great questions really being it's not just asking questions like Hey, what do you do? How's the weather? It's like, hey, it's when you first start any sales conversation to get to know somebody a little bit genuinely and authentically like I am not asking about where that is, how the weather is where you are. I'm asking you about yourself. So I can see where there are synergies and when somebody is a prospect They want to know, can they trust you? b? Do you know what you're talking about? And see, do you care about them in some capacity? Right, because once they feel those three things, they're going to be, you know, people make decisions based on emotion, and then back that decision up with logic. So if you can meet them where they're at letting you know and it's not Bs, you're not lying to them, but let them know that you care that that's why you're doing the service that you're doing. But know you care, let them know that and show them they can trust you by being authentic, and ask them questions and maybe share some information about yourself. And then obviously, it helps to know what you're talking about, like, you know, if you in our capacity, like if you are not passionate around your product, if you're the product that you have isn't a value, you believe it's a value, you know what, no matter what we teach you, it's not necessarily going to work. And if it did work, then we wouldn't really be the type people want to work with anyway because we don't want to sell I don't want to somebody wants to sell things that they don't believe 100%
Freddy Owen: and honestly when you see how sometimes sales are sometimes scripted I despise that, especially when somebody hits me with something and you know, it sounds scripted, right? It's frustrating. It's people would ask me like, how do you sell these jobs? And they're simple jobs, you know, you know, in the car industry but still, how do you do it? I'm just me. Yeah, you know, I show them what they need, you know, authenticity and just being real. That's fantastic. So, if you're listening to this authenticity, being yourself, and not being scripted is very important.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah. And obviously, as a man, if you're starting off in any capacity, there are aspects of a script that can help somebody who's new to sales. So it's not that you never want to have any ideas written down or that but you know, I'd recommend more than a bullet point right? And get used to the words that you want to utilize and or even just to have a process to go back to because you also want to be having a purse purposeful conversation, right? You want to know that you want to know ahead of time what the outcome is going to be. And you also want to prove to be an authority in the conversation. So you want to kind of control not in a negative way or an overbearing way. But if it is a sales conversation, you want to be able to be yourself and be authentic, but also know why you're there. And that also to be honest with you gets a positive response when people feel like they're being guided in some capacity. As long as it's not overwhelming and it's done with authenticity, you're able to move the call along and then hope that the outcome will be more of what you'd like it to be.
Freddy Owen: Now in sales, one of the hardest things for people is overcoming objections. Yeah, this is your sales course. Go over that.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, absolutely. Excellent, excellent.
Freddy Owen: So I really think all this stuff is going to be in the show notes. And I know a lot of people that I know personally, you know, Fitness Trainers that have been trying to get sales. They've been trying to allow online sales. I love automation, but I do believe that there has to be a certain aspect of personal touch. wouldn't win no matter what you do, you can't. Because they have to get to know and trust you. And if they don't do that they're not going to buy it from you. Unless you're lucky. It's and I think that your course will be fantastic for that kind of person, you know, whether you basically do any kind of sales. Am I correct? I know you talked about coaching, uh, you know, musicians?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, I mean, we focus on from a sales standpoint we focus on solopreneurs. But we also actually, that's not true because there are other people if you've recently started for a company that that has a wellness objective and is really there to kind of make the world a better place and maybe you're new to sales and that's why you started working in this company, but you're not great at it. We'd love to work with those people as well. But typically, like we want to do work with people who are service oriented in some propensity are altruistic and do want something in the grand scheme of things that does better life on Earth.
Freddy Owen: Now with coaching, oh, what kind? Because coaching, here's the thing, I've coached a lot of people when it comes to building your business online. You know, some strategies. What do you do? If you have someone that you give them a task or you tell them, this is what we need to do. And the next week you go, you know, you talk to them, and they haven't got any of that done. What do you tell them? How do you present that?
Ryan Stanley: So I heard you say, strategy. I don't know if it was an internet connection messed up. So I missed a little bit after the word strategy. And then I heard how you tell them?
Freddy Owen: So basically, you have and you have it to where you Okay, so let's say I give my students A, B and C. Okay. And next week, they come by and you said, Okay, so let's see those A's and C's, and B's and C's are done. Yeah. How do you address that?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah. And so I suppose that's a great question from a coaching standpoint. So it depends on the client. And it depends on how many times this has happened. So a lot of times when people are making great changes in their life, you know, the fact that you're going to a coach is a sign that you're ready for some change. But if you're the first week you kind of don't do it like that makes sense. Or especially even if you did a but not B and C, that's one thing. But if you're not doing a, b or c, like you know, we're going to address it we're going to kind of I'm going to acknowledge them and validate where they came from it and you know, it does make sense they didn't do it because this is all new to them. But it's also going to say something to me right off the bat if your first week and you haven't made any intentional changes. Now, the second week that happens like okay, it's, it's this is something we might spend some time really coaching them why they think they're not doing it. And if by the third week that's happening, even not all the way but a majority then it's like listen, maybe you need a coaching isn't right for you maybe you need something a little stronger, depending on what you're doing. It might be some sort of a therapy, right? You need to kind of go into why you are not functional? Why are you not taking effort, you're spending your money and your time with me to get this done? If you're not doing it. There's a challenge here, and they can feel that too. Right. So I've certainly worked with in fact, I had a client recently who is like her sixth sixth session in a row . He was just keeping time. He's gonna do stuff and keeps going with excuses or canceling sessions. And we just ended I just said, it just ended up not working out. So you do need to be willing to do the work. I think that that's the whole point of working with a coach. I mean, if you take old school coaching from a sports perspective, you're not showing up to practice, if you're not doing the exercise, if you're not making the task necessary to be the better athlete, your coach is gonna be like, Hey, listen, you're not on the team. Are you here? You're not here. So there's an opportunity for growth there.
Freddy Owen: And a lot of it's a mindset, because, like, you talked about the fear, fear of success, they, they have a hard time getting out of where they're at right now and into that realm. Yeah, a lot of it's fear. And it's crazy because fear of false evidence appearing real. It's just not there. You know, and I used to have, honestly, I had a fear of the camera, no fear of talking in front of people. And a lot of it was I was holding onto stuff from the past, of something that may have happened and really, it's that's holding me back. And it's silly because the futures right in front of you. Yeah. And it's sometimes hard for people to let it go. So sort of talking them down and saying, Listen, okay, you are better than you're giving yourself credit for. And not saying better as far as I'm the best, but your potential there, always utilize it.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah. And, you know, to your, to your point, it's like, someone if they're not, if it is like that first or second week, and they're there, they haven't done it. Like, we'll probably likely spend a lot of the session not necessarily talking about why did you do it? But really getting into your point, like the fears like Who are they? How are they showing up? What would they like to be different about that? So you know, you said you were going to do three things, you haven't done any of them? Why is that? Okay, we talked about that a little bit. So great. What would you like to be different about that? Well, I would like it to be done, obviously. Okay, cool. So why do you think you're not like, really when it comes down to it? And a lot of the times we'll come up with reasons that often blame other people, or different circumstances, but really, in the grand scheme of things, it's just about us not deciding who we want to be and not being willing to step out of our comfort zone to do something about it.
Freddy Owen: Absolutely love it. Love it. So with life coaching, is it like you have a weekly like life coaching group? Or is it like one on one?
Ryan Stanley: Both right. So my, my, the teach me to sell it is like a class, right? So it's a weekly thing you meet with us a couple times a week as a group, but for my coaching, it's one on one. I also do speaking engagements, I do some corporate things here and there. I've recently published this book, which has been, you know, getting some, I'm doing a lot of podcasts. And so there's opportunity for me to kind of speak about that, as well. So I really, it varies from week to week, and in a great way. That's one of the things that's kind of by design,
Freddy Owen: and all this information will be in the show notes, fam. Okay, so your book, you wrote a book, be patient, be present, be joyful, a first aid kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life. Yeah. Can you go a little deeper into that?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, happily. So I as a coach, you know, over the years through my own personal growth or working with others, Recognize there some some basic things that I tend to cover often in my sessions and basic things in the sense that they're things that we can all do and really just not doing because of human nature and our past experiences. And as this growth was coming along, I, I also have read a lot of books, or listened to a lot of books on Audible anyway. And I'm not a great reader. I don't want to necessarily spend 300 pages like reading, I get to page 27. And I'm, you know, reading the same page over and over again, like my brain wanders and gets distracted. And so I was looking for a book that if you know, typically right now, there's some and this isn't to belittle any books saying they're not good, but they're back. They're great and they can be life changing, but they spend 200 pages telling you what they're going to tell you. And then they spend another hundred pages telling you what they're telling you and they spend a third hundred pages telling you what they told you, which is good because it helps your brain understand the concepts. But I was looking for something like Listen, man, I'm having a bad day so that I can give to my clients. If they're feeling stressed, they're feeling overwhelmed, and they just kind of want something to pick up and read through it in 25 minutes. To have some concrete actions that they can take to feel better about themselves in their life. And I'm not saying that there aren't those out there, but I wasn't finding one that really stood out to me. And so as a kind of a lifelong entrepreneur, somebody who likes to create things, I just thought it would make sense to create a first aid kit for people to have. And so the book was written with two purposes. The first one is that just as I mentioned, you can read straight through it in a short amount of time. And you can immediately take away some concepts that can serve you in the coming day, right immediately. And for the rest of your life if you practice them often. And I'll get into those in a second. But then the second thing is that you can at any point, if you're just having a stressful moment, even after you've read it or before, at any point, if you're just feeling you're having a tough day, you can literally pick it up and open up to any page and it was physically designed to where there's something going to be on that page that will pop out to you and stand out as something that could serve you in the moment. Whether it be a highlight, whether it be a quote from me, whether it be just different blurbs, there's also quotes from other people. There's all sorts of things on there, that point that would stand out to how this could serve you. So is in a sense, like first aid for an emotional or stressful moment. Love it. Go ahead.
Freddy Owen: So, now we're gonna you're gonna give this book away for free, and that'll all be in the show notes. So, it's gonna be the PDF version, but you guys don't want to as well as I do having a book in your hand, like an owner's manual, okay, it is the best thing in the world. So I'm gonna have that link on there as well because it's on Amazon, and it got raving reviews. So definitely you want to, you know, grab that book and keep it on your bookshelf or keep it next to you on your desk because it can really, really help me out.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, I really appreciate you saying that Friday. And I would say what's also cool about the physical one is it's it's intentionally physically small, like you could put it in your pocket, you could carry it in your glove box, you could put it in your, your purse, you can carry it with you wherever you go at any point, if you just need a quick open up and on the back, there's spots for notes. So if you want to take notes on something that stood out to you today and made you want to open this book, there's areas for that as well. Well a physical copy, you can get it on Amazon, you can get it on Barnes and Nobles, you can get it Ryan Stanley calm. If you're just you know, in in March when COVID really started to kick into gear and it recognized that people all over the world were suffering from all sorts of different stresses and overwhelmed physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, I did also give it away for free for people who weren't interested, especially people losing jobs or whatever, and spending more money but felt like they could use this. So you can get a PDF, it's certainly downloadable. And like you said, it'll be in the show notes. But click on there and you can download it but if you have the means I recommend personally just from that, like, as I would obviously it sounds like it's biased, but really, from a friend standpoint, I would say it's it's a cool thing to just be able to physically carry with you as well.
Freddy Owen: And like you said, COVID has brought out a lot of i don't i, it's hard to explain. I, as far as I would, want to say demons, but it's brought like a dark shadow over a lot of people and how they can react to things like this because honestly We're truly blessed in America in the country we live in. And to have something like this happen. It's put a lot of people in a really hard spot. Yeah. And they can't go anywhere. They're around their kids more often, which is good. But for them, it's not new, it's new. You know, they're not used to it because they're so used to saying their kids off to certain places. And it's really really been a tough situation for a lot of people. Have you had any like for you personally? Has it affected you at all?
Ryan Stanley: You know, to be honest with you, I'm under the belief from my small perspective, that this situation has made people more of what they already were. And so much like money if you're so for me, it has had a really a really positive effect on me, to be honest with you. As silly as it sounds. I've spent more time with my family. I've been working harder on my business. I don't have distractions like kids sports games and birthday parties and things like that, or even other social events on weekends, I'm able to really just focus on who I want to be every day. And it's really, every aspect of my life has grown exponentially. So I hate to be that guy. I don't hate to be that guy. I'm blessed to be that guy. And I'm excited that I'm intentionally being that guy. I know it's different compared to a lot of people's experience. But I think there's a lot of people who are also in a situation where they've been working extra hard, they have had more time, they've made the best of this situation, it's not making the best situation because at any given point, if we come down to it, life doesn't. And this is a weird thing to say, especially in this the circumstance, but life happens for us, and not to us. And when we start spending so much time thinking that life is happening to us and everything that's going on around us is really the result of our outcome, or causes us to be a certain way, then we're giving power to everything else, when really the power comes from within. And when we start recognizing that life is happening for us, even a global pandemic, and we decide if I wanted this to happen to me, I don't know why I would want this to happen to me, but if I did Why, what could that possibly be? And you get genuinely curious about that and you start taking action on that potential outcome. Start, things start to unfold and open up for you in ways you probably would never imagine.
Freddy Owen: Well, I know one thing as far as working from home, I love it. Yeah, I see people that are like, I don't know what to do. I can't do it. Okay, when I first started doing it, it was hard to get a routine set up. But yes, I actually love working from home and, and I completely love how you were straightforward to the point. It's true. It brought out who they really are at that point in time in their life. And yeah, the way you look at things perspective, perspective, everything's about perspective and, and what you have in front of you, and what you can do with that and not make excuses. not attend one of Ryan's life coaching sessions and not get the A, B and C done tonight. not grabbing the book, not taking advantage of, you know, simple ways that you can increase your sales by being more personable being yourself. And not just being a salesman, but being a person that wants to legitimately serve that other person. And I think that goes a long way along the way.
Ryan Stanley: Thanks, man. No, I mean, I always say I agree 100%. I say, you know, people like, Well, you know, what are some basic tips, right? It's like, Listen, here's the deal. And this is my honest belief. If you wake up, if you start today, anybody out there who's listening, if you want to change your life, you literally want to change your life. It takes dedication, I'm going to tell you that right now. It doesn't. It's not something that happens in a day, a week, a month, a year, sometimes a year, sometimes less, but I'm saying you need to have patience with yourself. That's why the first chapter of the book is Be patient. But make some time today to write down who you want to be and decide who you want to be. I'm not a fan of the Avett Brothers already. But there's a band called David brothers. I'm a big fan. They have a song and lyrics to decide who to be and go Be it right. So decide who you want to be, write it down, literally spend an hour today if that takes that long, but make time to write down who you want to be. Think about it. Because you are in that sense creating your life, you're creating a Northstar, you're creating a compass for yourself, you know who you want to be, you just haven't made the time to really think about it. Or you just thought of all the reasons why you can't be that and all the excuses on things outside of your brain that are keeping you from doing that. But disregard all those things. Write down who you want to be, then make some time to think about and be grateful for that outcome. What would it be like? How can I absolutely believe that that is a possibility and step into that. That's like an hour and a half. B is starting tomorrow. Wake up in the morning and read that out loud. I'd mentioned that I do it every day I do it. When I start my day I do it when I end my day. You're doing a couple different things. First of all, you're speaking into existence in some capacity. From a quantum physics level, you're making it a reality. Secondly, you're reminding your subconscious on a daily basis of who you want to be and when you have conversations that fall into your lap throughout the day or different opportunities for connection, you're going to be listening subconsciously, for other things that you might not have been before. Because now you're programming your brain to be on purpose and to be listening and to be on the path of who you want to be. So that's a and b. And then C is by doing all of that, reminding yourself to be the light you want to see in the world at the same time. Like, do it with love, do it with intention, do it with purpose, do it for the greatest good of all. And when we do that, we stop going, we stop coming from a place of competition, we're not competing to be the best human or better than any other person. We're just creating to be the best version of ourselves and help others to do the same. I mean, the whole world can grow and you can have a global impact in that way.
Ryan Stanley: A, B, and C.
Ryan Stanley: There you go. Now, taking it all back for next week.
Freddy Owen: No, no, it's so simple. Yeah. And I found that realm where I had a hard time with it, but it is so simple. I'm actually gathering Some great golden nuggets right now of what you're saying that I'm going to implement into my own life. Love it. And it's fantastic. That's why I'm not a life coach. And you are, that's why you have this certification. That's why you're the best at what you do. So I love it, love it. So I'm gonna have all this stuff in the show notes, everything, any way possible to get a hold of Ryan. And make sure you go to the show notes and you take action with it, get the book, grab the book, put the book, you know, in your pocket, put it in your dash of the car, wherever you're at the most. Do that. And if you start feeling down, look at the book and realize that it's really not that bad. You know?
Ryan Stanley: And but real quick, I will say you're right, and in most cases, it's your absolute. It's not that bad. And that's not to belittle anybody's experience because there are some seriously traumatic experiences that happen to people all the time all over the world, right. Life is a crazy adventure. And so I certainly don't want to take away from anybody's experience. And just say, hey, it's all rainbows and unicorns. Don't worry, just be happy. Don't worry, be happy. I am saying that there's something that you can do about it intentionally. I am saying that the prologue of the book talks about the fact that we are all creators. At any given point, we are creating something. You and I right now are creating two men recording a podcast. If I wake up in the morning and I decide to put on blue socks, blue pants, blue shirt, blue hat, I'm literally creating a man dressed in blue. If you get out some bread, and you throw in some mayo, some bacon, some lettuce and tomato, you're creating a bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I just want to prove the point. With that we are always creating even if you're sleeping, you are creating a person who is sleeping. And when we laugh, we create laughter when we are sad, we create sadness. When we anger when we're angry, we create anger, frustration, stress, these are all things that we are actually creating, often based on things that are happening around us. And so when you start to recognize that I'm creating in any given moment, and you ask yourself powerful questions like who do I want to create right now instead, and you ask it with authenticity, instead of being What else is happening? Yeah, but you're saying, Who do I want to create right now? How can I create a person who's patient? How can I create a person who is present? How can I create joy in a moment that doesn't feel like it is ending. And that's what this book is about really kind of steps into, and then the epilogue. So let's say there's four, five chapters, prologue, your Creator, chapter one, be patient, chapter two, be present, chapter three, be joyful. And then the epilogue keeps going. On your worst day. And on your best day. If you use those two words, you will step into your greatness every day and grow to be more of who you want to be.
Freddy Owen: That usually happens at the end of the show where I say, can you leave us all with something that's strong, but that's right there is it? That's right. So we're going to go right into the super hyper fast q&a round because already that was fantastic. So here we go. Four minutes before, okay, no sound right. There's a movie for what movie did you see that you were disappointed in? But everyone loved it?
Ryan Stanley: What movie did I see that I was disappointed in that everybody loves? Oh man, I really want to have a great answer. And nothing's coming to mind. Let me just coat it whether people loved it or not. movie that I was disappointed in.
Ryan Stanley: Can I pass? Can I come back to
Freddy Owen: that in a minute? Thanks. So do you sing in the shower?
Ryan Stanley: I am not frequently but I'm not opposed to it.
Freddy Owen: And if you were to sing a song would it be
Ryan Stanley: If I were to say so, typically I listen to a lot of music when I'm in the shower, so I'm listening. So this we're not saying so whatever's playing, but I would say it would probably be something by The Beatles or Phish.
Freddy Owen: Okay. Okay, like the Beatles and Phish. That's a second time someone's brought up Phish. In the first six episodes of the podcast. It's a sign. It's a sign I gotta listen to Phish. I love Pearl Jam, though, but yes, I will listen to Phish. Oh,
Ryan Stanley: Go ahead. I don't wanna cut your cut your speed off when speed
Freddy Owen: round. No, no, no, you're
Ryan Stanley: like, go see Phish finally. Find them on YouTube and go spend some time with them.
Freddy Owen: So doing live shows well not right now, obviously. But
Ryan Stanley: up until now Yes, they in fact, they have a thing here's a little plug for Phish every Tuesday night, they do a thing called dinner and a movie that started once COVID kicked into gear. And it is they who do a live show from the past on YouTube and their Facebook page. And so you can watch a whole concert. And then they also send out some they have some dinner recommendations so that they give it a recipe and everybody makes the same dinner. They have a song called dinner in a movie. So they do this thing every Tuesday night dinner and movie. And then people also whatever shows playing that they have an opportunity for you to donate to a certain fund a certain charity.
Freddy Owen: They have a cult following. If I'm not mistaken.
Ryan Stanley: They do that. That's a perspective. I'm a member of that cult following. But yeah, I mean, I've seen them over 100 times. They are definitely Wow.
Freddy Owen: Wow. That's awesome.
Ryan Stanley: You are a big fan. I am a super Phish nerd. Happy proud.
Freddy Owen: Okay, what's your favorite emoji?
Ryan Stanley: My favorite emoji is Got him a loser on the actual models? I don't use movies that often so I guess a smiley face that's a lame answer but that's how I feel about it.
Freddy Owen: Hey, smiley faces are good. You're happy. It's a favorite, favorite episode of Seinfeld.
Ryan Stanley: He can't go wrong with the contest. Obviously. I'll say the contest.
Freddy Owen: The contest is a great one. Okay, so Jerry, Elaine, George or Kramer. Who would you want to have as your next door neighbor and why?
Ryan Stanley: I would say probably Elaine because she feels like the slice I feel. I feel like I would want her to be my lane right when you look at the relationship and like just this cool chick that you can kind of hang out with but also mock and be mocked by like a best friend type of thing. Like a chick. That's a buddy like that. So I would pick a lane.
Freddy Owen: You know, what's crazy is I pick Kramer. I don't know why, because he would take all my food, but like, my son was watching Seinfeld with me. And he goes, Dad, you know, I just realized something. These people really aren't good people. Like You know what? You're right there.
Ryan Stanley: When it comes down to it,
Freddy Owen: they're really not good people right? serenity now. Okay, what movie did you see that you're disappointed in but everyone loved if you can come back to that one I'll come
Ryan Stanley: back to that one and I will say
Ryan Stanley: I'm sad I don't know why but I'm drawing a blank. I'll go with the most recent Spider Man movie. How's that? I did not see it my son says love that so there you go. I did get good reviews. Which really doesn't matter. But in a lot of cases. I would say Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is mine. Yeah. I don't know why. I just couldn't get into it. The challenges part of the reason but
Freddy Owen: yes, that's a good answer.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah, it's because I don't watch a ton of movies. I don't watch a ton of TV. I really haven't in a long time. And this is definitely all about me. I am just a little. I get a little. I get bored really easily with television. And movies like I just for some reason, I just can't stay present. I so I find myself being disappointed often it's not
Freddy Owen: as if it had it. But the thing is I'm the same way it has to grab me. Yeah, if it doesn't grab me that I don't watch a lot of TV. I spend a lot of time trying to create stuff. Yeah, but when it comes time to sit down with the wife, we love certain shows and like, it's crazy, buy Lego masters I thought I thought it was gonna be a joke. But it was so much fun to watch.
Ryan Stanley: I heard that was good. That show I love the watch. I'm a Sunday night HBO guy. They typically do something great on Sunday nights, obviously the Game of Thrones thing and I love Kirby enthusiasm speaking of Seinfeld, and so there's stuff like that, that I'll certainly sit down and watch like once a week. But you know, I'm going to think about this. This answer I'm going to retract my Spider Man episode because that was really me just trying to throw something on the table. And I will message you and we will put it in the show notes to later show up as what the movie is that I was disappointed in that event. So that's a teaser, guys.
Freddy Owen: There are no show notes. Read the show notes. Man, you're a rock star Ryan, I truly appreciate it just so you guys know, this is the first time I've ever talked to Ryan. And it's been a
Ryan Stanley: Had a blast
Freddy Owen: it's been a fantastic experience. Thank you so much, Ryan for being on the radio show. You are a rock star. And you guys take advantage of what he has to offer. Look at the show notes. And once again, thank you so much. Appreciate it, buddy. Thanks for being you. A huge thank you to today's guests. Ryan Stanley had a blast as always, he's a class act. Also thank you to you as well for tuning into today's episode of the Friday Oh show it is much appreciated. Also, you want to make sure to go head over to win with fred.com to check out the show notes, grab all that Ryan has to offer. It'll be well worth your time to do that. And that's it for episode number seven. This is Freddy Owen. Until next time, stay vigilant. Keep moving forward and stay hungry.