Posts

Crush your comfort zone with Jesse Harless

The Freddy “O” Show Episode #5: Jesse Harless Wants You to Smash Your Comfort Zone.

ABOUT Jesse Harless,  M.A. 

Trainer | Advocate | Best Selling Amazon Author |Entrepreneur in Recovery

As an entrepreneur in recovery, Jesse is passionate about helping people overcome obstacles and make choices that inspire them to live their best life.

Jesse graduated from Rivier University with a Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling in 2016, and I now live my purpose running Entrepreneurs in Recovery® workshops, trainings, and events with individuals, recovery community organizations, companies, learning environments, addiction treatment, and entrepreneurs. I've integrated all of my learnings into my workshops, trainings, and events including my XCHANGE and HeartMath® certifications. 

He started Entrepreneurs in Recovery® in 2017 as a way to transform the lives of 5000 men and women in addiction recovery through one-on-one coaching, facilitation, writing, and speaking. Since then, the work has expanded to communities, workplaces, organizations,  addiction treatment centers and sober living facilities throughout the United States. Jesse is an XCHANGE certified guide and faculty member with a deep passion to bring out the best of any individual, team, community, or system.

Jesse’s recovery story started in 2005 when he was arrested. At 22 years old, he was looking at spending many years of his life in federal prison due to his addiction to heroin, cocaine, and prescription opioids. Facing serious consequences for his actions, He started to change his daily habits and get serious about his recovery. He followed a formula of success that he calls F.E.A.R.S. – Focus, Elevate, Appreciate, Resilience, Self-care. These practices are the framework for his online and in person workshops.

ONLINE WORKSHOPS/LIFE COACHING

Entrepreneurs in Recovery Workshop and Events

NEED LIFE COACHING? Email Jesse Here

Best Selling Book on Amazon!

Smash Your Comfort Zone with Cold Showers

How to Boost Your Energy, Defeat Your Anxiety, and Overcome Unwanted Habits

smash your comfort zone with cold showers by jesse harless

SOCIAL PROFILES for Jesse Harless

Instagram

Facebook

Episode #5 Podcast Transcript

Freddy Owen: Today on the show, Jesse Harless, the king of cold showers. He wants to help you smash your comfort zone. Episode Five is about to take off in three to one.

My Beautiful Wife: Thank you for listening to the Freddie O show, a podcast devoted to you, the listener, your purpose, your mindset and your marketing efforts designed to help you go to that next level. Now here's your host, Freddy O

Freddy Owen: Oh, yes, welcome to episode number five of the radio show. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to join me Freddie on. It's always a pleasure to have you aboard. And a friendly reminder, you can access all podcast show notes from today's episode at one with Fred calm. Also, the radio shows available on these other fine apps, Apple podcasts Spotify, Google podcasts Stitcher, I Heart Radio podcast addict, pod chaser Deezer, overcast pocket cast Castro and cast box. I truly appreciate your support. It means the world to me. Now. Today's guest was actually mentioned in episode number two by Russell Beebe and I was intrigued. So I looked him up and I sent him a message and boom. He is now here with us today. So without further ado, drumroll please.

Freddy Owen: Jessie Harless the king of cold showers. Thank you so much for being on the Freddy O show today.

Jesse Harless: Thank you, Fred. I'm excited to be here.

Freddy Owen: We are excited that you are here. So to get things rolling. First off, tell us about Jessie Harless.

Jesse Harless: Well, I am someone who is an entrepreneur . I consider myself an entrepreneur in recovery, recovering from drug and alcohol addiction and I am just really excited to be on the show today. Just to share with what's going on and how I pivoted during this time, because my business is an in person business, for the most part, it's being in person, it's being live, it's running events, it's facilitating. And obviously, I've had a pivot quite a bit and bring everything online but everything actually worked very well online. So it's been quite a journey. I'm excited to share that with you and wherever else we go today.

Freddy Owen: Actually, that's a great starting point.

Freddy Owen: So talking about the pandemic, obviously, and the way you have to stay at home, a lot of things have been cancelled. How have you pivoted I mean,

Jesse Harless: So the first thing I did well to kind of back it up I had done it's gonna sound a little wild, but I did a 40 day juice fast to start the year. I wanted to start the year with a bang and I said, you know what's going to really get me out of my comfort zone, and I'm like a 40 nothing, nothing could get me out of my comfort zone more than a 40 day juice fast. So I drank just juice for 40 days and that's how the year started. And then from there, this year is projected to be my best year I was going to have as a business and just ever, whether as a business or work for someone else, and, of course, you know, COVID hit, but right before that I had gone to Costa Rica, right after the juice fast, and I'm in this most beautiful country, it's a very, very healing experience. And I get back, and I have an event two days later in California, and as soon as I'm about the flower, you know, COVID hits like full blown hits hits in California, you know, I you know, I get on the plane, it's like 10% fall on a 747. It was really freaky. And I got there, we did the event, we had to be six feet apart, couldn't touch each other. If you sneeze you have to leave the room. It was just really scary. So I I got back to New Hampshire. And I remember getting back to that Monday, and I just like, got the worst depression that I've had since when I was like, Probably right after actively using or using drugs and alcohol, it was so surprising after a decade or more of not having it, I got hit with a really hard depression and and I think it was a combination of the reality of the situation that all the money that had been allocated to the live events was now going to go away and who knows what the world was going to happen with the world and all these things started happening. And you know, I'm a coach, I serve clients and you know, just what was going to happen with everything and in what I did is I pivoted, I meditated, I did a long meditation and I got kind of back to my truth. And and what I went into happening is, you know, the greatest thing started to happen is the the events, I started to tell them that I could bring this all online that I had the training, I had the skill set, I had the ability to bring all this online, and it took them about eight weeks, some of these these opportunities, but now all of the events are now happening online, and it's really, really powerful. Because now if anything I have almost two businesses right what I can do online and one in person

Freddy Owen: That's fantastic. I actually love online and that's awesome you're doing that because you can reach so many more people. I think the live events are awesome as well. As a matter of fact a live event, there's no comparison between live and online. If I were to do something I'd go live. But it is awesome. And I want to do the same thing as far as depression and when you talk about drugs and alcohol, no drugs, but I literally find myself drinking to ease the situation, which I'm not doing that now. You know, but it was ridiculous. I don't drink, I really don't. If I do I have, you know ever so often but I was finding myself like, okay, I am frustrated up drinking tonight. And it was just a simple, you know, drink But it was happening every night. And then finally I realized I was having chest pains and stomach pains. And I'm like, I'm letting this control me. And I was like, that's it. I'm done. So as far as I love the way you reacted to it too, because, like the meditation, I can only imagine the feeling of starting off the new year. Right, you know, everybody starts off on New Year right? You know, they're they're excited in most cases and that just dies down but you did a 40 day juice fast. And what do you mean by that is you only had juice?

Jesse Harless: Yeah. Nothing else else?

Freddy Owen: How much weight you lose.

Jesse Harless: Okay, so just to back up a little bit. I was already someone who is eating a plant based lifestyle, you know, vegan and eating healthy and exercising. So I didn't have a ton of weight to lose. But what happened is I still lost about 20 pounds but I didn't lose just weight. I lost a lot of the stuff that's stored up in the intestines, so I lost a lot of that waste. in there, that plaque. And so that's really what I lost. So I ended up like, coming out of that, like, literally, it was a tramp. It was a very transformational process. Not only was I, you know, energized from it, I had lost waste that has probably been in me for two decades. Wow. I'm actually intrigued by that. That's, that's amazing. So you took the situation, the Coppa situation, and you went through a little bit of a season of depression, but you were able to get yourself out of it with meditation. And going online and flipping the switch as far as your mentality with the situation. Yeah, and I mean, meditation was what I did right during the Depression. And then of course, I reach out to what I call my recovery team. So I have a team of people, five people that I can reach out to at any time, any place, text them, call them, and you know, I reach out to one of those people and I talk to them and Of course they could relate. So, you know, there were multiple, small tasks I did to help. But the first thing I did immediately was a meditation. Yeah, so that was that was big and yeah, and of course, there's other tools that I use, you know, cold showers is a big one, you know, cold showers is something it's like an alkalizing, like, energy boosting activity that I've been doing for five years. And so I still take them as well, to help to boost my mood, and

Freddy Owen: we're gonna definitely talk about cold showers. We're gonna definitely talk about that. But I want to before we do that, I want to bring up comfort zones. When you talk about comfort zones, everyone has a comfort zone where they keep themselves away from pressure, anxiety, pain, the pain of life. Yep. The problem with that is if you stay in the comfort zone, you stay away from growth, opportunity and success. Of course, comfort is obviously the big, biggest reason why they stay in that zone. Are there any other reasons that come to Mind

Jesse Harless: Yeah, I mean, a comfort zone is it's like even the most successful entrepreneurs in the world have comfort zones, right? They get to a certain level of success and they start to ride that roller coaster. But then what happens is their health fails, marriage fails, things start happening so even though they have all this success financially and you know, it can backfire by backfiring on a comfort zone. Now, it depends where you're at, but like, I just want to say that every person has a comfort zone, even the people you look up to so for someone like me a comfort zone would be okay. Wow. 2020 is going to be the year of clarity. It's gonna be the best year of my life. Oh my god, I'm on track to do all this amazing stuff. And so my comfort zone was that I didn't expect something like, like my comfort zone just expecting everything would be as smooth To ride with just what I was doing, and had no pivot plan. And so that was my comfort zone, I was just writing out this idea that I could facilitate, facilitate in person, write my book, slowly, all that stuff, and then bam, the world goes on fire and all these things start happening. And it's like, Whoa, and that woke me up from a comfort zone. So comfort zones can happen all the time in our lives. But a lot of people are, you know, sitting around saying, hey, this person's asleep. What does that mean? Well, it could just mean that they're in a comfort zone, and something, you know, cold showers come to me right away, that's a way to physically wake yourself up out of the comfort zone, but how do you maintain How do you know not go back to the comfort zone that you're in so a comfort zone could be something small or it could be something major that you've been in a comfort zone for 20 years doing the same job, and you have it progressing your weights, you know, increase and all these things are happening that's that's another example. So it can be a short term or long term comfort zone

Freddy Owen: and as an entrepreneur I believe that staying in the comfort zone really isn't an option. Because I think that's one of the biggest reasons why so many entrepreneurs fail is because they stay in their comfort zone.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, and I've only, you know, just a disclaimer, I was an employee, I worked for a company for 14 years. So I jumped ship to start my own business, entrepreneurs and recovery, and that was only in 2017 of August. So I haven't been an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur for that long, but what I've done is I've studied a lot of entrepreneurs, and I've seen what's gone on with them with comfort zones. I've certainly experienced my comfort zone during that journey, but I've seen other people get in a comfort zone and watch what happens to them. And usually what I see happen to them is, it is health. That's what I see first going and then and then what I see is like a lack of passion for what they're doing, and it just becomes like a hard sell and it becomes really uncomfortable.

Freddy Owen: I also think that sometimes people live in other people's comfort zones. What I mean by that is if they see somebody else fail, they're afraid to even go that route because that person failed.

Jesse Harless: Do you agree with that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's easy. Yeah. I mean, it's easy to help people to stay in comfort zones, you know, and kind of promote that. Like, I love this quote, I heard like, people love to hear good news about their bad habits, you know. So it's, it's just like a comfort zone. You know, if you can have people cheerleading on for your comfort zone, it's really helpful.

Freddy Owen: Yeah, it's crazy. So when starting your business in 2017, what was one of the biggest struggles you had when starting it? And how did you overcome it?

Jesse Harless: The biggest challenge was that I had no entrepreneurs in my family. I never did entrepreneurship where I expected to work for my company for 3040 years. And so the challenge was Like, well, what, you know what, like, I had to go dig deep to figure out what was going to be a sustainable business that I could, you know, because I really left my job to start up my purpose, which isn't always the best idea, you know, because you got bills to pay, but I decided that I would go right at, you know, coaching, and, you know, wasn't even facilitation at the time, but it became facilitation coaching. And I said, I'll make this work. And I had one client pay me $100 a month. My bills were much more than that. So it was a little crazy. So it really in the beginning was like, Who do I go to for help mentorship? And I already had a few mentors, but I started to really seek out who's going to be able to really help me and I did within two months, I had found a mentor and a training and that just launched everything. So I was really fortunate. Within two months of starting the business, I got right on a path and a plan with a mentor and a training that really took my business and it's amazing. What I actually do today was from those decisions I made those first two months as an entrepreneur,

Freddy Owen: you seem like a very, very structured person. So now I'm going to bring in the cold shower aspect of things. When did the cold shower? Now let me let me do a preface to this preface to this is I've done this before. And let me tell you something. It's excruciating at times, and it was very rough and then it became consistent. I'm getting back on it slowly but surely, a lot of it was a temperature aspect of it, but when was it in your brain that you were like, Okay, I'm gonna start taking cold showers. Well,

Jesse Harless: it wasn't even in my brain. It was in one of my one of my closest friends' brains, you know, he came over one night to my house and he said, Hey, you need to start taking cold showers randomly and it was December in New Hampshire, so it's 33 degrees out and now I'm not cold. You can call the culture act like I'm not taking a cold shower. I mean a hot shower attic I'm not taking a cold shower. And he said no you have to understand this. There's lots of benefits and he wasn't even taking a cold shower. He was just telling me that for me what he's known about me I needed to do and I ended up taking my first Cold Shower not too long after that. And what happened was, yeah, I lost my breath. I was all read but what ended up happening is I had struggled with anxiety my whole life. And two hours later, I attended a meeting after that first straight, cold five minute cold shower, all the way cold, which was I don't recommend that I went to a meeting that I would normally have experienced anxiety and I had no anxiety. In fact, I felt euphoric. And I was like, What is going on? How could that cold shower be the only thing I did differently? So I decided to do a 30 day challenge, a 30 day trial of cold showers. And that's that was it once I that was through December right the New Year's I ended up winning the highest award My company, all these things started happening was like a snowball effect. Not only did my anxiety decrease, it seemed like that habit stacked with other habits started to have this huge effect in my life with success. And I was like, What is it and it was part of it was the confidence I gained from doing something that caused resilience. I had to be very resilient to be able to take a straight cold shower every morning. And that resilience carried into my day.

Freddy Owen: And that took you out of your comfort zone, obviously. Yeah. So when you say you were at your company, so this is before you became an entrepreneur?

Jesse Harless: Correct? Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I started the cold showers two years before I'd left my job.

Freddy Owen: So it was like all a lot of the not all of them obviously. But a lot of the things that you had issues like problems that you had, like anxiety, maybe even confidence and stuff like that. It started to melt off you with the cold shower.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, what happened was I started to take risks I would have never taken before I just started to take risks, especially in my job. You know, I started to like, I would reach out to people on the phone, I would walk up to them in person, I would actually drive like an hour out of my way to go to like the headquarters, the local headquarters and talk to upper management to say like, Hey, this is who I am, this is my skill set. This is where I want to go. And they literally be like, Who is this guy? And eventually that led me to landing my quote unquote dream job at my company. And so, you know, it was just working things were just working, my confidence was boosted. My anxiety was higher. I had really high energy. I consider myself a healthy person, but I feel like my health has improved. My skin definitely looks the best that ever had.

Freddy Owen: So it's just a bunch of benefits.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, there's just a bunch of benefits. The biggest ones though, the biggest was again, it was the anxiety reduction. I would say the next biggest one was that was the resilience factor and that confidence boost.

Freddy Owen: Okay, now keep in mind fam that he has a book out and I'm going to put this in the show notes about cold showers and once they have that

Jesse Harless: books smash your comfort zone with cold showers.

Freddy Owen: So I want you guys to literally smash your comfort zone with cold showers and and literally do the 30 Day Challenge like he said, hold yourself accountable. If it worked for him. It most definitely can work for you. I got my pastor started starting to do it. He didn't believe it at first but I'm like, give it a shot. It just for me is consistency. And honestly it's a comfort thing. So I got to get over that comfort thing. So I'm telling you guys, I have not stayed consistent with it. But I'm going to start today. I'm going to stay consistent with it. But as far as turning the dial all the way to the left. I'm probably not gonna do that. I'll probably remember talking to Russell Beebe, and he said he does 58. He talked to you about doing a 58 degrees or less. Yeah,

Jesse Harless: yeah. So that's a big recommendation for people and it's in my book too. I put in the challenges in the book seven day challenge 30 Day Challenge. And then I have the 30 day and all hot showers cold challenge, which is what you can start with. So start with your shower warm is normal, do your washing, and then you end the shower cold like it's called a contrast shower, you end the shower cold so you're going to end it the first shower 30 seconds, the next time you get in 45 seconds and just keep increasing to get to two minutes. So take your normal hot shower but it ends cold.

Freddy Owen: And you'll you'll get

Jesse Harless: all this information is in the book all the Yeah, all the book is super short. I mean, it's a super short book, you can read the book, you can listen to the book on Audible and one hour in six minutes and you can read the book and probably 45 minutes if you're a fast reader.

Freddy Owen: So definitely I'll have that in the show notes and take advantage of that and do the 30 day challenge the seven day challenge that Jesse has In the book, so this is sort of a statement with a question. Okay. So you talk about addiction recovery. And I want to make something very clear. And yes, it's my opinion. But I believe that addiction spreads far wider than the main corporate structure, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography, etc. So Matter of fact, I think each and every one of us has an addiction, even if it's a small one, and a lot of us don't even realize it. And to that point, those addictions, even the small ones can be holding us back from growth. And I think that one of the biggest foot blocks is for someone to actually accept that they have an addiction issue. Am I on the right track by making the above statement?

Jesse Harless: I agree with you. 100%. Yep, I agree with you. 100% I believe every person is addicted to something. And you might say to yourself, oh, no, I'm not. Well, think about some of the things that have happened to you in your life, maybe a trauma that happened in early childhood or something that happened later on. There's an example of your thinking being an addiction. You might have never heard Put Like that. But even the way you think your day to day thinking can become an addiction, because certain limited beliefs are keeping you stuck. And you're addicted to the feeling that they produce the chemicals that those feelings produce. And Joe dispenza talks about this in his book, breaking the habit of being yourself. So it's a great book to learn more, but he talks about addiction as being addicted to the chemicals that your brain releases when you have certain self limiting behaviors. So I truly truly believe that every person is in recovery from an addiction.

Freddy Owen: So obviously, cold showers are one of the methods you use to help with addiction.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, it's one of the ones I found out about, I don't know the 10 year mark of my recovery. Nine. Awesome. Yeah.

Freddy Owen: So let's expand on addiction recovery. I know you have different types of methods and programs, workshops that you have, that could be helpful to people. Can you tell us a little bit about those?

Jesse Harless: Yeah, so that workshops that I Run are, it's an innovative approach to change. So they're not based on what you've seen before. They're based on this idea that number one, that every person has the potential to reach their full potential, that every person has a purpose. And if we can draw, if we can pull out their strengths, we can pull out a vision for their life and have strengths, touching strengths, and people feeling safe to share and vulnerable to take risks. The most incredible change can happen the most incredible change. I've seen it time and time and time and time again, over the last three years of doing this work, that you can facilitate transformation in group experiences. And it can almost become a spiritual experience. It's so empowering to watch this happen. So yeah, so I run workshops and events where that's what happens. We honor all the diversity of all the voices in the brown. We increase the social connection because people say, you know, a day You know, connection is the opposite of addiction. So, you know, so that's what we're doing. We're creating this sense of community. But in my workshops, we're specifically teaching lifelong skills. But we don't, we don't come out and say that what we're doing is we're having everyone; it's a certain choreography so people are getting the pairs are getting the small groups, they're constantly moving. They're constantly moving in and out of this choreography, then we teach them we teach, so we have their emotions engaged, they feel safe, they feel like they can be themselves. So there's wisdom behind it.

Freddy Owen: I think one of the biggest problems that we have, especially with people actually coming clean, if I were to call it that, letting go and telling people about what problems they have is social media. I think social media is a fantastic platform. But I also always refer back to this, it's everybody's highlight. It's not their lowlights. So, I think that if you're listening to this You consistently look at everybody's highlights on social media and you think, Okay, well, they don't have any problems. I think you're very, very misled. I think you need to realize that. Okay, if you do, and you're the only one who knows if you have a problem, but in most cases, everyone has some type of addiction. Okay, some are worse than others, some can kill you. And I think that if you do have something of that sort, I think it's great that if, you know, and I'll have it in the show notes that you actually look into what Jessie has to offer, because he has actually been through depression. He's been through hard times. And he's obviously learned how to overcome those. And with his workshops, I really believe that it could help you out and I think, at least seek some type of help. That's the biggest thing is don't sit back and watch your life go by and not seek help. It's a scary thought to do that and I always go back to it. It's actually a Pearl Jam song. But this one thing that always went through my head that Eddie Vetter said if I knew then what I know now, always remember that if you can conquer it today, you don't have to worry about tomorrow. So it's it's it's crazy that I know addictions tough for a lot of people and I know you've probably seen all makes and models of people and what can you say to somebody that that is listening right now that might be on the fence with with oh my gosh, I'm so afraid to go out there and say this. What would you say to them?

Jesse Harless: Yeah, well, here's the thing is we're dealing with the crisis of isolation. This is one of the most dangerous crises of all time, in many ways where you know, anxiety is creasing, alcohol consumption, increasing drug and alcohol overdose. So, this is the crisis, a crisis of isolation right now. So this is not a time to be alone. So even though You are alone you're almost forced by quarantine to be alone. It's not the time to be alone. It's a time to reach out, it's time to get to zoom rooms to connect. It's the time to get out in nature but asking for help, this is the time to do it. So because you are someone who maybe wouldn't normally ask for help, now you can do it without even seeing your face in a Zoom Room. So start to get out to different types of meetings. You know what I think is in the halls calm or something when you can access meetings around the world every single day all day. And so this is your time now to explore to poke around to see what's going on. Because you know, addiction has many different forms, you know, alcohol, drugs, pornography, internet, you know, games, all these different things. I don't know what it is for you. But you can find one of those groups online. You can google search it but here's the thing: recovery for me as a matter of life and death. For some people, it's not for some people, it's like I never I never got that bad for me. It's a matter of life and death. I took it there. It went there, I was broken, I was bruised, I was near death. So, for me, it's life and death, I treat it like that. So for you, it might be like, well, I'm just on the surface. So I'm just hitting an emotional bottom. Well, that's all you need to start to ask yourself to give yourself the permission to change and reach out for help. I mean, you can reach out to me, I'll give you resources. But you can do a Google search. And you can find thousands of recovery meetings that are happening now on zoom, which never has been like this before. So we're just in an interesting time. We're coming back, right? I mean, there's slowly but surely, we're starting to come back to in person groups. But for now, use the web, use YouTube, go out there, learn what people's lives are like, who have recovery, who are on the other side. You know, that's what I do. I surround myself with all types of people who are in recovery from all different addictions, not just drugs and alcohol. from other addictions to food addiction, porn addiction, sex addiction, I have them in my life as well, too, because those are all potentials for me and they have been porn definitely. Was it an addiction still can be today? Same here. Yeah, it's a huge one. And so that one's the one that I have to stay vigilant about. Because now it's like you're locked down, you're in your home, all these things are happening. So that one has the greatest potential right now to be used and look at the percentages of people visiting sites, pornography sites have gone up exponentially as well. So this is not a time to be isolating. It is the crisis of isolation. So we need to be reaching out for our mental health.

Freddy Owen: I mean, throw out a glimmer of hope and you would know this better than I would as far as you've helped people with addiction. What if you can describe someone's demeanor after they actually come clean? And and and put their stuff on the table? What kind of to give somebody hope that it's not that bad? It actually does it? Do you see it in their face? They feel relieved.

Jesse Harless: So like, if someone comes forward, you mean and starts to ask for help? Is that?

Freddy Owen: Yes

Jesse Harless: yeah, yeah. So that's the biggest thing is once you do that, you're going to realize you're not unique. I don't care what your story is. I don't care what it is. I don't care if you told me and this is gonna sound absurd. I don't care if you told me you got abducted by extraterrestrials, and then you came back, and then you were addicted. It doesn't matter. I've heard it all. There's, you know, there's so many examples of people's stories of trauma, because trauma plays a huge role in addiction. So, you know, there's to come out and talk about it. You're going to realize that there's people out there like you and I didn't believe it either. I was a young person who found recovery. I was 22 years old. I know people who find it at 14. I know people find it younger than that, but I was 22. That's very young. 22 years old facing federal felonies seven years in federal prison because of an opioid addiction. I had to change real quick. And, you know, I can tell you that I had no idea what to do. So all's I did was I found a safe person, and I just spilled the beans with them, and then events out to find more people to share all the crap that has been stored up, that I couldn't share the trauma, the emotions, the feelings, and you know, I it changed my life. And I actually actually because of people, like a drug and alcohol counselor or a therapist, I was actually I pursued my own journey and that I got my master's in mental health counseling because someone held the space for me that was so incredible, that changed me so deeply that I decided to pursue that myself. And so it's, there's always help, you know, I'd have to pay for that because of my felony charges. The court actually paid for that for three years. I had that drug counselor and I didn't pay a dime. So there was a blessing in disguise and there always is, no matter how dark something is. There's always light, always, always on the other side of it.

Freddy Owen: Awesome. And I love that. I love that. So definitely I want to put all the information about everything he has for Jesse's offer in the show notes. So please, please, please make sure to check, take a look at him and realize that you're not alone and situation. And if you're an entrepreneur, you need to literally address any kind of things that are holding you back and keeping you in your comfort zone. Because it's very important that you conquer those. So you're in the process of writing a new book, can you give us a sneak peek of what it's going to be about?

Jesse Harless: Yeah, this process is like a 10 year process. But I know, I didn't start writing it 10 years ago, but it was in my consciousness 10 years ago to write a book about my recovery story, you know, about what happened, and the book about the last two years has been there and I started adding little things. Do it. And I kept putting it aside and you know what I realized with this whole COVID-19. And everything that's happening is like, Who am I not to get this book into the world, it's selfish not to write my book. And I'm, that's a message for everyone. If you have a story of trauma or something, you've overcome addiction or something big or something you've done, or you're an artist that needs to be shared with the world, it's selfish not to bring it out. So this book, I don't have a working title yet. But the reality is the book is getting finished this year. This book is my story. It's a hybrid non. It's a hybrid nonfiction book, meaning that the book is my story for half of it or, you know, a third of it. And then the rest of the book is a formula. It's a formula that I use that helped me to go from survival to thriving in recovery. And that room that I still use today I use them and I've learned I've I've I've stood on the desk, shoulders of giants so that a lot of the formula didn't even come from me. It's learning from others, applying it, doing experiments, and seeing how it works. And yeah, so so that my new book is really a combination of my story. And it's also a formula that I created called fears. What a what a choice. I could have chosen for a word, but fears, you know, focus, elevate, appreciate resilience, self care. And that's kind of the formula that I use. It's not the kind it is the formula that I use, even today to help me to be abundant in recovery to live a life of abundance.

Freddy Owen: That's awesome, man. And here's the thing. I don't know if you have a page to get notified when it comes out. But here's what I'll do is make sure you hit me up and I'll put it in the show notes no matter what. And I will make sure that I address it in future podcasts when it does come out because I think it's going to help a heck of a lot of people. So I really appreciate you and I'm looking forward to reading it myself. Also, I think we're gonna have the show notes I'm gonna have. How do you get a hold of him? And his Instagram is all the social media aspects he really dives into his stuff as he has to offer. Get a book about showers, try the first cold shower, it's gonna be very uncomfortable. Take it from me. It's not it's not a cakewalk, but it's, it's gonna help you in the long run. So definitely do that. So now it's time for the Super hyper fast q&a round. I gotta think of a better name, but I'm going to call it that today. So we gave you some questions there off the wall. But let's see what your answers are for them. Okay,

Jesse Harless: Are you ready? Got it? Yeah.

Freddy Owen: Okay. What's invisible but you wish people could see

Jesse Harless: the energy around their body.

Freddy Owen: That's, that's very cool. Because there are Obviously is there. I want to actually bring up something. Have you ever heard of earthing? I do it almost every day.

Jesse Harless: Really? How? How long? I try to do 30 minutes a day.

Freddy Owen: Okay, if you can't explain to the audience I know what it is, but I'll let you explain it because I just know that it's walking outside barefoot, but if you can explain the benefits, that'd be pretty cool.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, so when I released my cold shower book when it came out in 2018. I actually have a video of me taking my shoes off and walking through the snow to get the first copy of the book that came into my mailbox, so I walked in the snow. It's I don't recommend that that's a version of earthing that's extreme. But what I do is, I actually take I you know, definitely no socks, no shoes, and I just walk outside. I live in a condo unit, I walk outside, and I walk to the grass, grassy patch and I just will lay down in the grass. I literally just lay down and hopefully it's sunny. It's not always, but when it's sunny. I'll just lay there in the grass and I'll just lay on Mother Earth and, and just walk barefoot around and lay on Mother Earth. I tried to do 30 minutes a day right now and it's it's very healing if you don't knock to try it

Freddy Owen: and there's like so many benefits of it I've read out like I was doing it and it literally it helps i think i think it helps with anxiety and because the earth is a healing Earth is it helps healing.

Jesse Harless: Yeah, you know, so even if I heard like inflammation it reduces like it's it's really amazing that benefits.

Freddy Owen: Wow. Okay, so that that was a little bit of a longer question, but I had to dive into that because I had a gut feeling you did that. Okay, so if animals could talk which one would be the rudest?

Jesse Harless: Which one would be the rudest I'd probably say a squirrel.

Freddy Owen: You know what they are, they are jerks. They can be jerks sometimes. We have a bird feeder, and this one squirrel just loves to stretch out and Eat all the food so the squirrel, good answer. Good answer. Okay, what set of items could you buy? That would make the cashier the most uncomfortable? Well,

Freddy Owen: I could tell you, I could tell you mine

Freddy Owen: from past experience, which is stupid, but it's a supermarket

Freddy Owen: What's any kind of place or the kind of place because Okay, I'll just dive in there. When I first got married. I had my wife first ask me to go get her some tampons. I think I was more embarrassed, obviously, or something like that. But, Okay, I gotta take that back. I was embarrassed. I don't know why now, I just don't care. I threw him on the, you know, I was young and you know, married 20 years, but I went the first time he told me that I was like, what are you supposed to do? Uh, she's like, no, but it was

Jesse Harless: like, Oh, no, but do you have any ideas? Man, you know, in a store. I mean, that's a tricky one. I mean, I don't I don't mean for me for a while, it would have been just like a, like maybe condoms or you know? Because it's it's like I've been single for a while off and on and so like to buy them it's like my something my mind's like, they know you're not using those, you know, they'd be like

Jesse Harless: saved everything for myself actually the cashier if you're having a great time

Freddy Owen: Oh yeah, you know that you know there's taking something, you know, so Okay, we move on and what is something that is really popular right now but in five years, everyone will look back on it and be embarrassed by it.

Jesse Harless: Man, that's a good one. Let's see right now something right now. I mean, oh my god, I'm glad I don't follow the trends because I'd have an instant answer but something they'd be embarrassed by the view now because if somebody like dances and things I'm seeing and I'm like, that's probably going to be embarrassing, but I don't even know what they are. Hmm,

Freddy Owen: yeah, I think Well, here's the thing. I don't follow the trends either, you know, you're correct. Absolutely correct. If you go on to you see a lot of people dancing and or they just do something like, especially when they do something so stupid.

Jesse Harless: But is it wearing a mask?

Freddy Owen: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's Yeah. I really hope that you know, because I know in some states because we went to New York City. Reese this past weekend, it was a quick in and out because we had to get my son stuff out of his college. But in Pennsylvania and in New York, it was mandatory no matter what you had to walk in with a mask. Yes. Any storage or anything in Ohio. It's not that way. Is it? where you're at is

Jesse Harless: the same way. It's like the supermarket Whole Foods. Yes. But for the most part I mean, to be honest, it was the first time I really left to go anywhere, it was like last week. I just been going to Sam's Sam's Club doesn't have that but you know, Whole Foods has the rule that we're to where the mass so I'm not sure the rest of the state actually, I think we just opened up though. So

Freddy Owen: you know, what's crazy is actually I was staying at home a lot more than I usually do, I would very, very rarely go to the store. But when I did go to the store, I felt I was seeing all the masks, you know, and it definitely died down, but it was freaking me out. That kind of seeing all the mass was actually freaking me out instead of making it better in my opinion. But I see the point. Some people have issues I completely understand that by all means, but yes, that's a very, very good answer. Plus, my thing is doing stupid things on video and not really thinking before you do them. And then once you get online, it's not going to be taken off in most cases. Unless you're, you know, so you gotta be careful with that.

Freddy Owen: So the final thing is, is there anything how let's what would you leave with the freedom to show one last thing that you could that you believe like statement or that you live by? That could help them tremendously in life? What would it be?

Jesse Harless: Yeah, I mean really just off the top of my whatever is coming in my intuition you know all is how I look at it all as well if you allow it to be released and let go of what you're trying to control and continue to practice small habits with frequency and consistency. This will lead to a lot of peace, a lot of success and get you right through this quarantine period, to be honest, right through this decade.

Freddy Owen: Jesse, you have been a wealth of knowledge guys make sure you look at the show notes. I want to thank you so much for being on the radio show you have been a tremendous guest and it's been an honor to have you on

Jesse Harless: thank you so much buddy. Appreciate it.

Freddy Owen: Awesome episode today fam. I had a blast having Jesse on today he delivered some great value. And thank you to you as well for tuning in today's episode of The HF radio show you guys are rock stars. I also want to make sure that you head over to winwithfred.com to check out the show notes and grab all the chests he has to offer today. Plus all of his contact info. He is a great great guy and you can learn some really cool information from him. I also highly recommend that you start taking cold showers adding them to your daily regimen. I'm on week number two, and I've already seen some really significant benefits. One of them is that I sleep better. My heart rate is lower. So take action, give it a shot. You'll love it. Last but not least visit winwithfred.com/FMA to become a member of the new Facebook group. I have the funnel mastery Alliance. I know you will absolutely love it. Tons of value going to be back there. So definitely head back there. That's it for episode number five. Thanks for tuning in. It was a great one. This is Freddie Owen and until next time, my friends stay hungry.

she wants you to live your best life

The Freddy “O” Show Episode #3: Patricia Hicks PH.D. She Wants You To Live Your B.E.S.T Life!

ABOUT Patricia Hicks, PH.D.

Patricia Hicks, PH.D.
Founder, President, Outcomes Management Group, LTD

Dr. Patricia Hicks, Founder and Champion of B.E.S.T. Life Community, is an author, speaker, facilitator, professional career and life coach. Her sole focus is to assist individuals and organizations to clarify their goals and how to reach them so that they can achieve extraordinary results fast, living their B.E.S.T. Life.

Some of her many firsts that led to achieving extraordinary results….

Age 6 – Landed first title “Miss South Street Elementary School”

Age 17 – 1st African American honors graduate, Mainland Senior High School

Age 21 – 1st student trustee at Hampton University (Hampton Institute)

Age 23 – Assumed supervisory position, Head Speech-Language Pathologist, Easter Seal Speech & Hearing Clinic (Brunswick, GA)

Age 25 – Georgia Governor George Busbee appointment to State Commission

Age 30 – 1st African American to earn Ph.D. in Communication Sciences, University Memphis (Memphis State), Memphis, TN

Age 36 – Launched national outcomes program evaluation system, American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (Rockville, MD)

Age 40 – 1st African American Female Officer, NovaCare, Inc. (King Prussia, PA)

Age 44 – Founder, President, Outcomes Management Group, LTD

As a result of being inside 150 organizations around the U.S. including South Africa touching 50,000 individuals helping them to achieve their desired results, Dr. Hicks discovered the 4 key drivers of extraordinary results that has led to the B.E.S.T. Model TM and now B.E.S.T. Fast.

she wants tou to live your best life now patricia hicks

FREE VALUE From Patricia Hicks

B.E.S.T. Mindset Ebook: When you think your B.E.S.T. thoughts, you get your B.E.S.T. results Download the Ebook Here

Join the Best Life Community here

SOCIAL PROFILES FOR Patricia Hicks

Facebook Page

Youtube Channel

LinkedIn

Instagram

Twitter

CONTACT

drpat@bestfast.org

BOOKS By Patricia Hicks, PH.D.

only your best is good enough. So be your best.

Patricia Hicks

Episode #3 Podcast Transcript

Freddy Owen:
Rock star guest today, Patricia Hicks is in the house. She loves helping people

Freddy Owen:
Gain clarity about their goals, their priorities, and their direction. That's right. She wants to bring out the best in you. Let's rock and roll.

Patricia Hicks:
Thank you for listening to the Freddy O” Show a podcast devoted to you, the listener, your purpose, your mindset, and your marketing efforts designed to help you go to that next level. Now here's your host, Freddy O.

Freddy Owen:
Yes. What an amazing day to be alive, to forge forward and to pursue your passions. Every day, we had that choice to either stay stagnant or to move that needle forward. Building momentum to a better you every day. No exceptions. I want to thank you so much for joining me today, taking the time out of your day to listen to episode number three of the Freddy O show. This is Freddy Owen. And now before I get to our special rockstar guest today, I wanted to extend the invite to a brand new Facebook group. I just started called the “Funnel Mastery Alliance,” that was created a focus on funnel creation, strategies, marketing ideas, lead generation plus so much more. I love that stuff. So to join, all you have to do is head over to winwithfred.Com/FMA. Just answer a few simple questions and boom, we'll get you on the inside. So I'm looking forward to connecting with you all in the Facebook group. Also, you can access all podcast show notes at winwithfred.com. So make sure you do that as well. Yes, our next guest is excellent. Absolutely. Excellent. She wants you to be your best. She really does. She focuses on bringing out the best in people and honestly who doesn't want to be their best. Right? So without further ado, Patricia Hicks, welcome to the Freddy O. Show. Super pumped to have you on.

Patricia Hicks:
I'm excited to be here. Thanks for inviting me.

Freddy Owen:
Absolutely. So we're gonna get things off. Rolling really quick. First and foremost, who is Patricia Hicks?

Patricia Hicks:
Well I am a kingdom entrepreneur. I am an author, a speaker, trainer, coach, and I'd like to think of myself as a matchmaker. I like to match solutions to problems, ideas, to products, and I love matching people to tools and resources and each other.

Freddy Owen:
Very cool. So what is you said you were a kingdom entrepreneur. What exactly is that?

Patricia Hicks:
Well, a kingdom entrepreneur, first of all, I see myself as a, “Child of the King.” So I'm a Christian and that means that I'm about really helping serve people solve their problems and really saw the co-creating with God, his kingdom.

Freddy Owen:
Fantastic. I guess that means I'm a kingdom entrepreneur too. So I am Christian as well. That's fantastic. So with that being said, what would you say your main passion that you love to bring to the table to help others is?

Patricia Hicks:
Well my passion is really to help others live their best life. And that really means a life where a person is really living on purpose. It's balanced, it's abundant, they're blessing others. They're they're doing what they're passionate about and when they are stepping into a space, they, their light is shining wherever they go. They're focused on others. They are about meeting others needs with excellence and they're using their time wisely.

Freddy Owen:
Okay. So when you say that you have a history of doing this, can you tell us a little bit about your history and what you've done in the past?

Patricia Hicks:
Well, yes. So I have a company that's called the “Outcomes Management Group,” that I founded 25 years ago. And it bears the name outcomes because I'm really passionate about results. And so around 2008, I decided to take a look at why were some organizations and people getting better results than others. And I looked at 125 organizations that represented 50% were nonprofit, 25% were in the private sector and 25% were government. And what I found was that when people and organizations stayed focused on four key characteristics, they achieved extraordinary results. And that became a cute acronym “BEST”. And I can come back to that later. And then about, I guess, 2016, I was interested in moving into the online world and I was hosting some focus groups to get some feedback and primary, primarily millennial's showed up and I was curious as to why they were there. And they said, well, you know, we really wanted to see if your best could help us to get things done fast. And so at that point, I had not looked at the relationship between best and fast. So I went back to the drawing board and sure enough, I was able to find a relationship between best and fast. And it was at that point that I realized that I could really help people really live their best life. And that saw that incorporated this model of best and fast.

Freddy Owen:
So the best and fast is like your core values.

Patricia Hicks:
Yes. so let's talk about fast and why that ties to a best life. We don't really know how long we're here. We don't, no one knows, but we know we have a finite period of time. So therefore time has to become a value and you need to use that time really well. And typically what we've done is, you know, we decided to go along and we do things, but we're not looking at whether those things can really get done faster. And that's what I love about this millennial generation, because they're challenging us to say, Hey, do we have to always do it that way? Could we do it differently? And that led me to, yeah, could we do things faster? And if we really focus on our time and getting things done as fast as we can, and by goodness, we could probably make sure that we have this best life before it's time to go. So that's kinda how that all evolved.

Freddy Owen:
So if somebody were to come in to your, like your program, I know you have a, I believe it's a coaching program, correct? Yes. Okay. So they come to your coaching program. What do you look at? Like for instance, you know, being an entrepreneur, especially an online entrepreneur, you've been in it since 2016, you've talked to millennial's. And you know that a lot of people don't succeed in this space because a lot of it I think is because they don't have the, the right direction and they're maybe not utilizing their time. Cause I always believe that time is money and you don't, you can't get time back. And I know that ever since I've gotten older, time goes faster. It's like you can't grasp a hold of time. So you have to use what you have in front of you to the best of your ability. So what do you like really focus on when it comes to someone, for instance, starting an online business and they want to go to that next level, how would you help them? What would you do to help them?

Patricia Hicks:
Okay. So there's like five pieces to this. First is really helping them first get clarity about their destination to your point. You know, they want to go to the next level. What does that really mean? So we have to really get clarity about that. And then once there's clarity about here is what the next level means. Here's what it looks like. Let's take a look at you because you are going to be the driver of whether you to the next level. And now I'll bring in my “BEST”. So those four characteristics that I was talking about B is about bright and bright is about your image and your image is what allows you to attract. And of course, when we're in business, we need to be able to attract customers and partners and funders and so forth. E is about excellence and the characteristic that's tied to excellence is having standards.

Patricia Hicks:
And when you have standards that allows you to grow, that's the outcome. S is about satisfaction. It's my favorite discovery. And that's when you're focusing on meeting the needs and expectations of others and the outcome is energy and it takes energy to get things done. And then T is about time and meeting deadlines. And the people who are disciplined at managing their time are better able to seize opportunities. So you can probably see now that when you focus on all four of those areas collectively, that's why you can get those extraordinary results. So I have an assessment tool that allows you to take a look at where you are, so what's your best condition. So we want to see where we are. We want to see where their blind spots that we need to be cognizant of because that's going to all impact our ability to move to the next level. So that's the personal examination. And with that personal examination and where we want to go, we can now start thinking about what do you do? And, you know, create this, what I call a best roadmap, a blueprint that can begin to help you to chart your path. And now we have to also tie into this roadmap, looking at your speed, because we want to go as fast as we can. And there are six influencers of our speed. Would you like to know what those are?

Freddy Owen:
Absolutely. I'm intrigued. I mean, I, first of all, I want to say that I need to know where this assessment is because I like to see where I have. I haven't had

Patricia Hicks:
That, you know, where it is and that you could get it. Okay. So here are the six influencers and this came really from my millennials. You know, that forced me to take a look at speed and fast. So the first influencer that's the most significant influencer of speed is your environment. You see that?

Freddy Owen:
Okay. So your environment, as far as like what you are, what you have around you, like where you're working,

Patricia Hicks:
That's right, because that's where you spend most of your time. And so in that environment, you may not be aware because if you let's just say, people tend not to pay too much attention here. So it's influencing you, but you don't realize that it's influencing you. But if you just make some adjustments in your environment, all of a sudden you can boost your speed. You can make some adjustments that adjustments that will help you keep focused and eliminate distractions. You can make some adjustments that will allow you to have the energy that you need. You'll have, you can make adjustments that can help you to stay more focused. So you can do some things in your environment that will actually really boost your state. That's a good point. For instance, is a speed. Something that takes away speed. Would you say clutter is one of those things? It is.

Patricia Hicks:
And to your point, you know, right. People say, well, I can find it. And usually they can find it. They just don't realize that it's taking a little bit more time to locate it. That if it was, you know, or if it was organized and, and, and just how I set my desk up, you know, whatever my priorities are, how do I set it up? Where I have focus, where there things that remind me of what I'm trying to accomplish so that I don't allow other things get to get me off track from what I'm trying to accomplish. So that environment is just key. So that's number one. So we'll keep going real fast. So number two, it's all about people, relationships and relationships. Your life moves at the speed of relationships. And people have showed you about relationships and money and relationships and results.

Patricia Hicks:
Now I'm going to tell you how it relates to speed. So there are six different types of relationships that you need to have that influence your speed. One relationship, a very critical one is an accountability partner. You need somebody who you really trust, who loves you curious about you that are gonna, it's going to make sure that you're staying on point. My husband is my accountability partner. He wears me out, but I know he loves me. So it has to be, it has to be somebody that you know, that they love you. Cause they gotta call you. They gotta call you on it when your behavior gets out of alignment or when you're not doing things or they're checking on you and so on. So that's one and there are others, but I'm going to just go to the other one that I think is most critical here for let's just say this new person that we're talking about, do they have a mentor or a coach?

Patricia Hicks:
And that becomes essential because that's the one relationship that the greatest speed. If I don't have someone who's been where I'm wanting to go, then I have to figure it out myself. Now I can figure it out, but it will take longer than if I have someone who already has been there and can guide me, give me feedback, help me to avoid things and so on. So to my millennials, I was saying absolutely positively, without a doubt, you got to have a mentor. You gotta have a coach. And no matter what stage you are in life, when you're starting, whatever it is, you can better find a mentor or a coach because you're going to go slower in the absence of that relationship. So that's number two, number three, it's all about your mindset, right? So your mindset just think about it. If you think immediately “can't”, “but”, it slows you down.

Patricia Hicks:
It stopped you stop right there. Cause I can't do it or I won't happen. I mean it does. So your mindset is really critical to speed, to balance. Everybody tells you, you know, Oh, you know, you really need to be focused on balance. Well, balance impacts your speed and we can get that right? If we're sick, we're not able to get anything done. So we've got to make sure that we're balancing our mind, body and spirit said that that stays in balance because when any of those get out of balance, you're slow. You're really moving slower than you would. If you were imbalanced. Could I jump in there real quick? Yes.

Freddy Owen:
Balanced. This is a good, this is a good one because when I first started out, I was so focused on building the business aspect of it, spending time and you know, a ton of time focusing on in front of the computer and what I was doing as I was neglecting other things that were important. Like my health, my family, my wife was starting to say stuff, Hey, listen, you know, we're still here. And I realized that that was a huge problem I was running into. So now my days are not nearly like that. It's time to shut down and it's time to go to work. You know, as far as focus on what I'm doing, I think that's fantastic that, that you do teach that. What would you say to somebody? Cause let's go back to the mentor one, two, and then I'll let you finish up on that. What you were describing, but the mentor one, what would you say to somebody that you recommended a mentor, not a person, but they got a mentor. What, what's a sign of a bad mentor?

Patricia Hicks:
Well I think a sign of a bad mentor would be a person who really not focused on understanding you and what your needs are in a bill and, and wanting to be available to help you to achieve those, you know, what your goals and needs are. Okay. Very good. Very good. I'm sorry. That's okay. I love it. So balance is critical. And to your point, what we don't realize is that that impacts your speed. From the standpoint, if you work, work, work, work, work, you don't realize you think that you're being more productive, but the reality is you're not getting things done as well as you could. And as fast as you could, if you took breaks and so forth. So I even teach people how to build that into their day as well. So, and, and how to build in taking care of yourself into your day, into your actual work day so that you are keeping that day imbalance.

Patricia Hicks:
Okay. So the next area is communication. What we say and how we say it influences our speed example. Well this is so interesting. Let's think about I always tend to think about president Barack Obama is a good example of this. So he used the words. “Yes We Can” remember that. Uand, and those words are real interesting cause it wasn't “Yes I Can.” It wasn't “Yes You Can.” It was, “Yes We Can.” We can. And then think about it's it's if you said yes, we can. Our yes, we can. Our, yes, we can. You see, just depending upon how I say things can actually motivate somebody else to do the thing that I need for them to do,uif that's what I'm, you know, if that's what I, and of course, most of the times as entrepreneurs, we're needing to get people to do things, you know, either with us or for us, or, you know, whatever.

Patricia Hicks:
So how we say things is going to either move them to do it faster or take a while to get to where we want to go. So we want to really think about what words we're going to use and how we're going to say those things so that we can really get people going as fast as we need for them to move along with us. So so it's, and even today, the other piece is also where we communicate with young millennial's. You'd better text. If you're going to be trying to reach out, you need to phone them, or, you know, that's not going to work or email. So even where you communicate. So I always try to find out from people what their preferences of communication, so that I can go there. I don't have to waste time sending something. And then they say, well, I didn't get that.

Patricia Hicks:
Or I didn't see that, you know, I understand that front, this is going to be, how are we going to communicate? So, and listening to people to see what words they use so that I can use those words back, cause that helps them to connect with you and to all that. So communication is a big deal. Then the last area that's, most people will probably go like what it's called celebration celebrate. Now we don't do enough celebrating and think about it when you celebrate, you get excited about it and it encourages you to want to keep going. So if you wait until the end of something. So when we talk about moving to the next level, if we're going to wait and celebrate six months in as opposed to every step along the way, if we celebrate, I'm going to get geeked, I'm going to be excited.

Patricia Hicks:
You know, I, I compost that. Yeah. So now I can go on and do the next thing. So it, it, it really propels me to keep moving and I really ended up going faster than bumping in the things and not going so well. And that slows me down and, you know, and so on. So the celebration is really key to really helping you to move along faster. So those are my, those are my acceleration areas. And so again, that becomes a part of my, you know, my working with you is helping you to examine those things and help you to, you know, figure out how to use those, see, see where you are with your speed so that we can try to make some adjustments to get you going a little bit faster. And then the last thing that I like to focus on in this whole piece of course, would be, are we getting results?

Patricia Hicks:
Because the goal here is to get to the next level. So make sure that we're clear about, you know, what results we're going to need to make. You know, I mean, what results we are going to achieve and how are we measuring to make sure that we are achieving those results so that we can make adjustments where necessary, which will help us go faster. Because if we aren't measuring and we're not getting what we should at different points along the way we could end up getting somewhere and it's gonna really fit figure out, Oh, I'm not, we're not where we need to be. And now there's more time that we had expand into this than we needed to. So those are the sort of five key areas that I focus on when I'm working with someone.

Freddy Owen:
That's fantastic. I'm going to actually, I'm going to go back to, first of all, celebration, I think is, is really key because if you wait till you're finished, it could be like, when you're talking about celebration, like the baby steps, the small things that you, that you accomplish within your journey. Yes. Okay. I think that's fantastic. I think that I need to do that more. I think that if you have a you're a business and you might be going through a rough spot celebrate things that you may have done recently to overcome a roadblock or obstacle that you have in front of you right now. And then when you get that through that obstacle, it's just another celebration. Correct?

Patricia Hicks:
Right. Yep. That's right.

Freddy Owen:
And secondly, you brought the millennial's and how to communicate with them with like, for instance, text, I understand that they love texting. Do you ever encourage the people that all they do is text? Cause I feel that as sort of takes away an aspect of communication of their own, because they're so intent on just typing and they have a hard time getting face to face with people, or do you not see that?

Patricia Hicks:
Oh, no, absolutely. And so I want to help them to see the benefits of multiple ways of communicating. So just as they prefer to receive messages one way they have to be cognizant of the people that they're trying to reach and the lays and which they like to communicate. So that it's a reciprocal process. Communication is so helping them to see that is really, you know, very important. And the other piece that is really important is that in communication, 90% of our communication is really nonverbal. So when we can't see the other person, we can make assumptions about what the communication means or is saying that it might not be. And so therefore that is another variable that has to definitely be taken into consideration. And it makes me nervous today as we are in our pandemic and are moving to more communication via technology that this is going to be very challenging because communication is just much more than just the actual, you know, sending words or talking to someone, be you know, zoom. There's a lot that comes from that interaction with the person or person. So you are on point that we don't want to totally live by. But if I need to reach you, that's where the fast comes in, I know that that's how I got. Yeah. Yeah.

Freddy Owen:
And a lot of times, if I'm in a texting, you know, especially I've had friends where I've, I've texted back and forth and they're taking what I'm writing way out of context. It's like, they think I'm arguing with them, not arguing. And finally, I get off the texting I get on the phone. I'm like, bro, listen, we're not, I'm not mad. We're not fighting. I don't know what's but this is coming from, so it's, there's gotta to be, like you said, there's gotta be a balance.

Patricia Hicks:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it is, you know, we all process communication through our filters. We have different filters, you know, our past experiences and you know, just our perceptions of things. So you could say a word, you know, like boy and, and you mean nothing by it. And because of my cultural background, when you say, boy, I get offended because boy has a meaning to me that you didn't realize it had. And so when we're texting, that's how that can get escalated because if we're face to face and I, you know, I could it's, you can easily see that that was sort of offended might have offended me because she couldn't see that I squared it by eyes rolled my eyes or something. And you're going to say, Oh, something's going on with Pat. But if it's a text, you can't see me rolling, you know? And so you're just continuing on and now like taking everything you say, you know, now through this filter that I put it in that you didn't realize it was now residing in as you were talking to me.

Freddy Owen:
Yeah. Big time. Yeah. So what's the most important thing you've learned in your life? What was your life like before you learned it? And what was your life after you learned it? The most important thing.

Patricia Hicks:
Ooh. Oh. Cause they're so witty. Oh boy. You gotta pick one. Just one. I know you're making me choose, I am going to say that the most, maybe the most important thing is recognizing that it's important to, Oh, you're making me, I'm having a hard time. It's cause it's probably blend together, but okay. I'll just, I'll just, I'll just stick with this one. Yeah. When I was in my doctoral program, let's just say, cause you said be pre and post. Okay. So prior to my doctoral program, I grew up, my family was, my parents were very much, this is right. This is, and I was in a dichotomy of, you know, it was just either or, and then I got into my doctoral program and I had this experience where I was facilitating a family, you know, SIS counseling session, like, and when it was over, my instructor said, how did they go?

Patricia Hicks:
And I said, Oh, it was awful. And she said, awful. And she's he said, well, well, let's think about that. What, what went well? And I rattle off some things that went well and all of a sudden, just by her getting me to focus on something went well, I realized that everything didn't go bad. So immediately then I realized it really wasn't awful. Now it wasn't great, but it wasn't awful. So I realized that it was, there was a, you know, an ad in there. And, and I would say that that has been a really valuable lesson to me that I really don't see things anymore as either. Or I see things with and.

Freddy Owen:
So perspective perspective is huge because I have people that I've talked to and they say that they, everything is terrible. Their life is a wreck. When it's really not as like look around at the blessings you have, and the thing that the blessings you see and the blessings you don't see, it's crazy perspective is huge in life in general. So that's that's great. And I'm sorry if I, if I three off a little bit, but

Patricia Hicks:
I just had to choose that was all it was, I was just having, I was just trying to decide which of my big three was it. And I decided that would be it. Cause I want to say, can I just say this one thing that's, what's bothering me about today? You know, the, you know, we're in this pandemic. And so we hear well, the way it's other projected is today, let us tell you here's how many people have the virus. Who's how many people have died? Here's this, here's that. And so we get this picture that becomes like a one sided picture. And there's another side to the picture and we don't have conversation going that relates to both sides so that people can have an, an perspective. And so we have, and this is sort of going on in our country in so many ways. So therefore people are going either I'm this or I'm that. And we're seeing the intensity now of conflict because they're very few and's and there's no, we don't have any and's rising up in the leadership of any place in space. That's helping us to realize that each view has some, there is something in each view that we can appreciate until then that's, what's sort of bothering me. So that's why I picked that one because I'm getting annoyed that there is not, I'm not seeing, but, and the crew's active.

Freddy Owen:
It shouldn't be, in my opinion about choosing your side, yes. Life should be about the, about being able to have discussions and figure out the happy medium, because what happens is when you say choose your side, it's like a team mentality going to beat them and it gets nasty. So I, a hundred percent agree with you. That bothers me too. And hopefully we can shake that mentality because it doesn't do anybody any good. So I'm going to jump to how can people get a hold of you? And I know you're going to give away something for free today. So how, and we're going to have this all in the show notes, everybody. So you can she is a wealth of knowledge, 25 years doing this. And if you have been listening, you can see that she is fantastic, great knowledge, and you want to learn from her. So how can they get a hold of you and what are you going to be giving away today?

Patricia Hicks:
Okay, well, there are lots of places in spaces that I can be reached. You are going to provide everybody with the link, to my best life community. It's a free community. And it's a place that if you're interested in living your best life, that you want to come and be a part of, because I share a tools and resources and every day I'm, I'm putting out some information you know, that will motivate you and give you some ideas about your best life. So that's one place I am on Facebook and I have a “Be Your Best Fan” page, and that'll be posted as well so that you can join me on Facebook if you're there, I'm on Instagram. And so if that's where you are I am personally there. So that link will be available to you as well. I'm on LinkedIn. And so you can catch me there. So I'm just about everywhere. I also have a website that bestfast.org Which is pretty easy to, to remember, cause it's all about, you know, my movement. And I think those are all the places

Freddy Owen:
That's fantastic. It will be on the show notes, take advantage, join the community. Take advantage of her, the, the, a free giveaway that she has. Wealth of knowledge. Now, are you ready for the fun stuff? But a lot of it's, everything's fun. I enjoyed my, what job. Put that crazy questions. August a super hyper fast QA round, not real hard. So first one is who would you I'm sorry, what would you pick for your last meal and who would it be with? Oh, my,

Patricia Hicks:
My last meal. Does it have to be a person or could it be a group of people? One person. Oh, one person.

Freddy Owen:
It could be famous. Could not be famous.

Patricia Hicks:
And does it have to be someone that's living, you know, living? Yeah.

Freddy Owen:
No, no, not at all. Not at all.

Patricia Hicks:
Okay. So for my, my last meal I'm originally from Florida, so I love seafood and my absolutely favorite is crabs. So last meal, I love some crabs and since it's the person, it doesn't have to be someone here. It would definitely be Jesus Christ, because I would love him to help get me prepared for where I'm headed next.

Freddy Owen:
Amen to that. Okay. Here's another one. If you had to replace your hands with something other than hands or claws, what would you put at the end of your arms?

Patricia Hicks:
Oh gosh. What were they? Something that we replaced my hands. Oh, okay. I would, I would put my, I would add some eyes.

Freddy Owen:
Wow. I, that's a good question. I think that's a good answer. I mean, so you're going to have four eyes.

Patricia Hicks:
Yes, because that would help me with my blind spots.

Freddy Owen:
Boom, love that. Love that answer. And then what is something you enjoy doing that you think other people might think is a bit strange?

Patricia Hicks:
Well, I don't know the people that are around me, they think that the fact that I could just live out on the beach all day from sun up to sun down, is strange. But I love it sun up and down. I mean, I can literally all day just be on the beach.

Freddy Owen:
So, and plus with what you do, you can do that on the beach with a, you know, a hot spot and your computer, if you wanted to and just chill that way. I love the beach. You know, if I had a choice, well, I always say, you know, Kristy, that's my wife. What do you want to go? You want to go beach her mountains? I want to go to the mountains. I'm like, Ugh, but that's… She loves the mountains. I love the beach. I love sun, sun just reinvigorates me. And unfortunately where I live at right now, there's not a lot of it at points in time, but it's all good perspective, right? Perspective.

Patricia Hicks:
We are kindred spirits Freddy. That's my thing. And I'm in Columbus, Ohio. And so I had a hard time adjusting here because it's gray and I need my son. So I tell my husband I'm here because of love.

Freddy Owen:
I'm in Akron, Ohio. I'm here because of love too.

Patricia Hicks:
Okay. Here we see where we're kindred spirits. I love it. Are you a Buckeye?

Freddy Owen:
I don't really watch college football, I guess. I, yeah, I am. I, I'm a Buckeye. I love sports. I love. And that's another thing about this whole pandemic thing as it's taken away sports away from us, but not, but, and I know what's going to come back. Is that better? And I know it's going to come back. I'm learning. I'm a work in progress,

Freddy Owen:
Patricia. Thank you so much for being on the Freddy O. Show. You have been a wealth of knowledge and I just, I hope everybody takes advantage of what you had to offer today. Thank you so much. And you know, what, if you could say one last thing to the listeners, what would it be?

Patricia Hicks:
I would say only your best is good enough. So be your best.

Freddy Owen:
Boom. Thank you so much, Patricia. You're a rockstar.

Patricia Hicks:
Thank you so much.

Freddy Owen:
Amazing show today, fam. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Also thank you to Patricia for dropping some golden nuggets of wisdom. Also make sure that you head over to take a quick look at the show notes for today's podcast to take advantage of all that Patricia has to offer. Plus all of her contact info will be on there as well. You can find all of that on winwithfred.com last but not least. Visit winwithfred.com/fma to become a member of the new Facebook group I have the called “The Funnel Mastery Alliance,” until next time my friends stay hungry.